17 June 2009
The feminist mother-educator
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting.
I first came across this post about feminism and homeschool at childofnarnia‘s blog. I was piqued because when my wife gave up her career, there were mumblings about ‘wasting your education’ and all that. What interested me was the revelation that there was some sort of feminist backlash at women who decided to abandon their career – highly educated ones at that – to stay home and educate their own children.
These mother-educators are giving up good-paying jobs to homeschool and nurture their kids. You know, in an age where women no longer have to be chained to the kitchen sink, more and more are deserting hard-earned gains in gender equality to embrace a pre-Women’s Lib (as it was called then) male dominated social order. Shocking! But as the writer Wendy McElroy argues, what women are abandoning is the singular agenda of feminist self-interest in favour of choice – in this case, finding fulfilment as a mother raising and homeschooling her own children. So is there a tension or contradiction between feminism and traditional values, or is homeschool a step backwards for women? Read on, and you decide.
Homeschooling constitutes a revolution in education. But it is also one of the most significant trends to affect women and families in decades, especially since it is led by mother-educators. Homeschooling is part of a social shift by which women are moving back toward traditional family values, not because they have to but because they want to do so.
Analysis of homeschooling has focused on the children—and properly so—but the relationship of mother-educators to feminism deserves investigation in its own right. Homeschooling is a trend that mainstream feminism is resisting because the teaching at-home mom threatens many of the values it espouses, including financial independence.
The tension between homeschooling and feminism arises not from feminism per se, but from the politically correct version that has dominated the movement for over a decade. PC feminism regards the traditional family as a training ground for patriarchy—that is, for the white male culture that oppresses women.
Fortunately, other schools of feminism view staying at home as simply one more choice that a self-respecting, intelligent woman can make or reject, depending on her goals in life. Individualist feminism is one example. For this school of feminism, freedom means having every peaceful choice possible and taking personal responsibility for all your actions. In this framework, one woman’s decision to stay at home is not politically better or worse than another woman’s choice to become a CEO. Both are personal matters. Both express the core of true feminism: choice.
Read the rest here. (Warning – really long post)
16 June 2009
The parent as teacher
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting; Teaching.
My own understanding as an educator and homeschool parent is eclectic at best, and may come across as poorly conceived to some. Homeschooling is so much a DIY project I don’t think anyone has the last word. In any case, I do hope my experience will give impetus to your own homeschooling journey and help you do better as a parent-teacher.
When I last wrote that teaching a child at home required ‘different skills’ I may have inadvertently implied the application of formal pedagogical models and textbook procedures at home. My apologies. That’s furthest from my mind (although I admit I am sold on Freire’s ideas that teaching is about lighting a fire, not filling a bucket, nor comparable to banking). ‘Skill‘ may not be the right word to use, but since it describes a facility, a way of doing things, it’s not inappropriate to see it as an ability that can be learned or improved – meaning, parents can only get better the more they work at it.
Anyway, first things first. Not long after our family decided on homeschool, I realized I had to unlearn all my presuppositions about teaching and schooling. There were many! The reason is, our ideas about teaching (and learning) are invariably drawn from our days in school.
School, I’m sorry to say, is generally about coercion and conformity, and often completely out of step with what’s going on in the head or heart of a student. The rules, the performance trap, fragmented syllabus, political agenda, etc. Schools are an experiment in social engineering, and classroom teaching has a way of becoming nothing but crowd control. Unfortunately it’s this invisible curriculum that socializes and conditions our minds and informs the way we think our own children ought to be taught.
Of course beyond form and structure, we’re just as influenced by our teachers good and bad – the ones who tormented (in my case, an Encik Ismail) and those who inspired (Ms Pillai who taught literature and planted subversive political ideas into our innocent heads). Isn’t it also interesting that we remember our teachers more than the schoolbooks that we were spoon-fed from?
I’m sure our schoolteachers were people with good intentions, and the ones who inspired may have been great models. Yet when school’s out for the day, teacher didn’t have to come home and live with us.
What I am trying to say is, the homeschool teacher is first and last a parent. As children learn what they live, so parents teach by the lives they lead. If you are a homeschooling mom or dad, know that the line that separates educator from parent does not exist. If at all it’s there, it’s a mere crease. “But don’t you feel trapped? You don’t have your own space if you’re with your children all day,” a journalist once asked. My wife Sook Ching replied, “ Why should a mother feel this way when she’s spending time with the children she loves?”
This is really the first great lesson about being a parent-teacher. You’re not going to cut it if you view your kids as a life sentence. Love bears all things; our children are a wonderful gift from God, and we’ve got as much to learn from them as they have much to learn from us. Once you get this part right, the rest is easy.
8 January 2009
Can I homeschool both my sons at the same time?
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Q & A.
A recent email arrived asking about homeschooling 2 children at the same time. I thought it best to let my wife Sook Ching – who’s the primary tutor in our home – take up the question. I’ve revised the query a little to maintain the privacy of the enquirer.
Q: Do you think I can homeschool both my sons who are a year apart? The oldest is 6 and the younger is 5 this year. If yes, do I teach them at the same time or have individual lessons with each? I will be the sole educator as my husband manages his own business, so I won’t be asking him to contribute in the classroom, but perhaps in other areas. Having said that, my oldest son is in final year of preschool this year; do you think I can slowly and tentatively incorporate year one lessons this year? Or am I jumping the gun?
A: I’m Sook Ching, wife to David Tan, and mother to 2 boys, Ethan and Elliot, now 19 and 17 respectively. I do believe that every child is a gift of God and uniquely and lovingly designed by Him, and that’s why we believe that homeschool is a real blessing: because it allows parents to tailor and adapt an education programme to fit a particular child and make learning a joy and a lifestyle! Compare that with the assembly line cookie cutter factory called “School” where every child has to learn the same things at the same time and at the same pace and style. And if a poor child is too fast or too slow by that average standard, or is in anyway different, he or she becomes a misfit and miserable. But that’s not the only beef we have with conventional schooling and I won’t go into all that now!
Yes, you can homeschool both boys: most families do it with more than 1 child, some like my neighbour with 5 and 1 on the way! I started with the same curriculum for both boys till they were older, then the older one did one level higher because he was faster in his math and reading. You’ll have to get to know your children and try out materials with them. If they find something easy, then they can go on a higher level and so on. The beauty of homeschooling is its flexibility: it allows each child to work at his own pace even in different subjects. So Son 1 may be doing Math Level 1 and English Level 3, while Son 2 may be at Math Level 4 and English Level 2. The important thing is to cultivate a love for learning and not study just to pass exams and get some certificates. The goal must to be to develop a person who can think critically creatively and who is also humble to know that he or she does not have all the answers, and therefore continues to be a lifelong learner.
Most mothers are the sole educators especially when the children are younger, though at all times, the presence and support of the father is important. The father can always act as a resource person in his area of expertise (math, computer, accounts, music etc?) and as an authority figure (the Principal) and counselor. When the boys grow older, you’ll find that they’ll be talking more to their dad than to you! The important thing is the building of relationships in the family which will last through the years to come: the sharing and communication that helps understanding and imparting of wisdom for the art of living, besides cold facts and figures. You’ve heard it said somewhere: if a child lives with love, encouragement, acceptance, forgiveness, honesty, etc, he’ll learn all these and grow to become a confident loving and mature person who is able to relate to everyone else in the world.
Actually, we only bought a curriculum for our boys when they were 7 and 9 or later. Before that, we used a lot of mix and match, materials from the local bookshops and the library from which we’d bring back piles of books on science, history, geography, and lovely illustrated storybooks. We went out a lot to play, to the playground, the swimming pool, the shopping malls, friends’ homes. They had time to play together and with friends all types of board games, Lego and other building toys, and time to draw and write and talk and just lie down and dream. We provided the environment of learning: books and materials for writing, drawing, and music. We switched off the TV too – it was only allowed on Saturdays when they were young. Back then we had no computers, but all these have to be restricted, so that they have time to read, talk, write, think, dream, be creative and imaginative and relate to people. Studies have shown that boys especially mature slower than girls when younger and do not normally do well in schools: they are more active and playful and to suppress them is to take away their joy and life! But also, children learn more from playing and informal situations.
13 November 2008
Am I qualified to teach?
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Q & A.
I was quite surprised to read that the Education Ministry is once again reviewing the Education Act 1996. It appears there is a bill that requires all teachers in educational institutions (kindergartens to colleges) to be registered with the education department before they can teach anyone. That doesn’t sound too encouraging to homeschooling parents who are already nervous about dealing with mandatory education for primary kids. It does make you wonder what sort of repercussions it will have on parents who educate their own children at home. The new amendment isn’t law yet, but MP for Sungei Siput, Michael Jeyakumar Devaraj, has raised it in Parliament in August 25, 2008. You can read it here.
Interestingly, homeschooling mom Momie Tullotes in an article titled Can a Parent Be a Homeschool Teacher Without a Degree, writes that while a teaching degree may be helpful, it is not necessary. What a homeschooling parent needs is determination and dedication. Read her piece here.
Beyond legal issues, parents often wonder if they are qualified to teach their own children. To be qualified means so many things! Common fears cited include a poor grasp of English, lack of education, and an inability to discipline one’s own children. It is unfortunate that many parents in Malaysia feel that homeschooling can only be conducted in English. This is certainly not true. HSLDA has links to homeschooling groups in Taiwan and I am pretty sure a simple search will lead any seeker to more links.
Apart from the issue of language, I can understand the anxiety at the very thought of educating one’s children. Here’s an article I came across that addresses this question: “Am I really qualified to teach my own children?” The writer Richard J. Prystowsky spells out what he sees as crucial links in parent-child teaching. He says:
My intention here is to help parents—especially those new to and those thinking about homeschooling—who are struggling with the questions of whether or not they really are both capable of teaching and qualified to teach their own and whether or not they are (or would be) acting responsibly by homeschooling their children. To this end, I offer a discussion of the following personal traits, which, in my nearly twenty years of college teaching, I have come to see as being essential for anyone to possess who desires to be a good teacher, that person’s profound knowledge of her subject matter or in-depth training in teaching notwithstanding. (Note: one’s being “certified” to teach is not synonymous with one’s being “qualified” to teach.) My greatest mentors possessed these traits, although, to the best of my knowledge, none had taken a single course in educational theory or methods. If you yourself have or are striving to have all of these traits (the following list is not meant to be exhaustive), then you are probably fit to teach your own. On the other hand, if you lack and have no interest in attaining them, then perhaps you ought not teach either your own or anyone else’s children. (Read the rest here)
His is a helpful list (non-exhaustive, as he writes), but again, the stress is on desire and determination. Hmm. Thousands upon thousands of parents who have homeschooled their children couldn’t have agreed more.
26 May 2008
Beginning homeschool
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Q & A.
How do you make kids sit down to learn at home? How do parents teach the higher grades? Won’t homeschoolers miss out on socialization? Will it affect their character and social skills? What if I start homeschooling my child after primary school?
Homeschoolers are asked these questions all the time.
I wish I could offer a cut-and-dried response to these common queries put to homeschoolers. There isn’t (simply because every home is different) although it’s probably safe to say that there are some commonalities across the board. Also, there are no perfect situations, only opportunities. Parents who educate their own children at home hope and pray their kids will turn out well. The truth is the journey has only just begun. Our homeschooling kids are at different points and milestones along the way, and who they are or what they will become is just unfolding. So we’re all a work-in-progress -parents as well as their children – counted as `saints’ by our heavenly Father, yet saints in the making.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about homeschool is that it is schooling’ that is carried out at home. The image therefore, is of a conventional classroom now scaled down but imported or adapted to the living room or kitchen table. Some parents have the idea that the one-on-one situation with mom as tutor and junior as student is an attractive proposition because, a) there’s going to be a lot of attention given to the student b) there’s going to be a lot more Junior will absorb in the personal tutoring process, and c) obviously, the potential for academic excellence is going to be greatly advanced.
Speaking as a former teen, that’s as much fun as a torture chamber. Why bother with homeschool then? Might as well stay in a conventional school.
It is possible that some families may homeschool this way (to each his/her own I say) but that’s not how I understand homeschooling to be, nor is this how it is practiced in the homes of most if not all homeschoolers I know. My own home would certainly be dismissed as a slacker’s paradise; parents who imagine homeschools to be a miniature academe peopled by diligent children sitting ramrod at their desks studying, will be sorely disappointed if they drop in our home for a visit!
In the first place, homeschooling is more than academic learning or formal scheduled study. It is providing a child a secure home to realize her potential holistically. It is equipping her for self-directed learning, training her to be resourceful and independent.
Seen this way, the homeschooling parent does not consider herself as a tutor but a facilitator. We’re seeking a balance. Life itself is one big classroom or a laboratory for creativity, discovery, a safe place for learning from one’s mistakes. Conventional schools with their over-emphasis on exams and books and tuition offer little time or space for self-discovery and imagination. The difference between a happy pre-school kid of 4 years and an anxious, bored, schooled kid of 7 years is staggering. Which is tragic considering how many great minds, inventors, and writers, owe their greatness not to hours of mugging but to playing and tinkering about while in their formative years as young children.
Certainly there are sit-down periods, but informal learning constitutes a significant part of a homeschooler’s education. Eventually the role of parents as their child’s facilitator is diminished until personal involvement is no longer necessary or a primary concern. Inculcating this attitude and outlook in a child when she is younger pays off when she grows older. Parents will quickly find that their initial fear of being unable to teach the ‘hard’ subjects becomes irrelevant because the homeschooled child will and often does surpass her tutor.
Taking a child out of school at 13 years to homeschool is not uncommon, but some parents admit to struggling with weaning the teen from an entrenched and usually peer-dependent lifestyle. A lot of families do succeed at ‘deschooling’ a child for home education but it entails more effort since you’re developing a new circle of friends at the same time as picking up a new learning culture.
Then there is the whole issue of learning styles and gender. Different children learn differently according to Howard Gardner’s (among others) multiple intelligences theory (Frames of Mind, 1983). Again, boys are psychologically and developmentally different from girls. Given these variables, parents do their children a great disservice when their idea of education is one-size-fits-all. It isn’t and it doesn’t. The good thing about homeschool is, a child gets to learn at her own pace and in her own style.
It should become clear by now that homeschooling is a radically different way of looking at learning. I often tell friends it is a whole new lifestyle requiring some drastic makeover in my expectations and value system. But what about socialization, people ask? Simple observation confirms that socialization in all its negative modes is precisely why our present schools and society are having so many problems. The right question ought to be, what kind of socialization do I want?
Homeschooling promotes positive socialization. It’s insulation (as opposed to isolation) during a child’s most impressionable years. And contrary to popular myths about homeschool, it takes place in a real world instead of the artificial one that is merely made up of children of the same age. In that unreal walled–up world called ‘school’ with its sterile classrooms, children wear the same uniform, read the same books, pick up the same bad habits and prejudices, conditioned by a system that rates their self-worth against exam marks, and discourages anything but conformity. Urgh. Then there’s that persistent interrupting bell that only Pavlov’s dog could love!
While this is going on, our homeschooling kids are reading a variety of books, getting involved with community service, interacting with people of different ages, building rafts and swimming in the river, traveling, hiking up Maxwell Hill by themselves, helping in the zoo, and participating in debates and mock trials. Sure, we families have to do it ourselves to make all this happen. But that’s where the pleasure lies! Above all as parents we have the time to provide a steadying influence, adult modeling, moderating and interpreting the challenges of life against an agenda set by other parties, institutions, and vested interests.
Finally, I wish I could conclude that homeschool is the answer to our educational and institutional ills. It is not. And it will not be for everybody. It may be that other families and children are doing well following conventional routes – national schools or private, international schools or learning centers.
But those of us who have chosen to educate our children at home believe it is the better way. It is more worthwhile embracing a radical alternative that matches the values we hold – including our love for God – which we hope to pass on to our children. We do this in the process of equipping them with skills to engage the world with more than paper credentials. It appears research is on our side, because homeschoolers are by and large academically above the national average, assimilate well into society, and are unafraid to march to the beat of a different drum.
Homeschool is a long way from becoming mainstream in Malaysia. But things are changing, and opportunities for tertiary education are opening up. Technology and community resources are making education at home more and more viable and accessible. So. Should you homeschool? Can you homeschool? The question our family would ask is, why won’t you?
By David BC Tan
29 November 2005
The Lessons Fathers Teach
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting.
As long as a father lives responsibly, work hard, put food on the table, make time for church, he is deemed to have done his part. He hopes however that his diligence, work ethic, and commitment to provide and protect will impress his children to do right in the future.
Yet if fathers hope to raise children who live God-honouring lives,they will need to do more than impress their children. To do that a father has to intentionally and purposefully direct, instruct, and mentor his children (Eph 6:14), in ways that say who his Lord is and where his heart is set. Exercising this kind of influence is what spiritual leadership is about.
At some point every child must be helped to recognize that Jesus is Lord of all or He’s not Lord at all, and that living like Jesus is right and worthwhile. There is nothing easy in such an enterprise, but ready or not, our children are already taking their cues from our life and attitudes. When our 13-year old Elliot told me his dad was supposed to represent the kind of man he hopes to be one day, I think my heart skipped a beat. Of all the things unsaid about fatherhood, the one that we avoid is that which begs the question: how would you like your child to mirror the person you are today?
I find the notion rather unsettling because children in particular are better at doing what we habitually do instead of what we usually tell them to do (i.e., “do what I say, not what I do”). They consciously or unconsciously pick up cues from our lifestyle and attribute significance to our choices, and just as surely take after our indifference – neglect that the early church fathers rightly call ‘sins of omission.’
The Bible assumes leadership of fathers at home and assigns responsibilities that cover body and soul. Fathers who homeschool because they want to do right by their children will have to think hard about the shape of their leadership, because fathers lead – even when they aren’t leading. Children live what they learn. Sometimes the lessons they learn are the ones we fail to teach.
By David BC Tan
28 January 2005
Letting God be God
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Devotional; Parenting.
Anyone starting out on a journey from A to B wants to know what’s in it for him or her, what to bring, what to expect. We want a map, some assurance from those who have gone ahead. After all is said, it’s easy to forget there’s only so much one can do or anticipate. In fact, the longer I homeschool, the more I realize how much lies outside my control. That’s not comforting to hear in our “take charge” society, but it’s exactly why it has to be said.
Take the growth stages of our children. I am just learning how to change and adapt my teaching and parenting styles as our children grow and adjust to changes in their bodies. What works with a child of 5 is not the same when he is 15. Just because we were fifteen once does not make us an expert. Then, as a girl or boy reaches the age of majority, the dynamics of parent-child relationship enters yet another phase.
Something happens in a child’s development from dependence to independence and before long, you realize how quickly your influence is diminishing before your eyes. Whether you have done a good job is not the issue. You learn – perhaps painfully – that a child’s self-awareness and spiritual awakening are matters beyond your schedule and direction.
The components of physical, emotional, and intellectual growth in children may be tied in part to genetic disposition and social conditioning, but our kids are individuals who alone must chart the course of their future. You can point the way but you can’t walk down that road on your children’s behalf.
I was reminded of this as I tried to make sense of the killer tsunami that wiped out almost 200,000 lives and displaced hundreds of thousands more. The heart-wrenching scenes of destruction in the papers and on our screens spelled this out to me: our lives are not ultimately in our hands.
The same applies to parenting and homeschooling. Things do go awry as good intentions sometimes do, and you’re overcome by a tsunami of conflicting emotions: is it my failure as parent, or is it the curriculum? Did not God promise me His favour, or did I not pray enough?
We may have been caught by surprise, but not our sovereign God. Indeed, all life is really in His hands. That includes our children. Like everything else we do, our heavenly Father asks only that we do the best we can “as to the Lord,” and He will take care of the rest. Someone once said that trusting God is like driving at night – you see just as far as your headlights, but it’s enough to take you to your destination.
That’s a good thing to remember as we homeschool this year. It’s also the easy part. The hard part is letting go of our need for control, letting go of our children, and letting God have His way with our family and us. Yet in letting God be sovereign, are we not placing ourselves in hands far, far, more able than our own?
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom;you are exalted as head over all. 1 Chron 29:11 (NIV)
25 January 2004
ABCs of homeschooling
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ.
We do not all enter the New Year in the same fashion. For a new homeschooler it will be a year of transition, a new way of doing things, a new routine even. For older homeschoolers, it’s usually a new resolve to improve their performance.
The more regimented among us would have a mission statement spelled out, all purpose-driven and milestone appointed. But whether by force of habit or compelled by circumstances, many others (among whom I count myself) will be stumbling into the new calendar while they are busy doing other things.
Eight years ago, we burnt our bridges and boldly went where few had trod (at least in Malaysia). We had decided to keep our two children at home, believing it was the best thing to do. My wife Sook Ching would give up her job and once the maid’s term ended, we would be turning over a new page, writing a new chapter. That was a lot of changes we packed into our new year back then, not to mention the repercussions of the Asian economic meltdown at the time. We did not have lots of resources such as cash or connections, and we would not and could not look back now.
You can imagine the mixed feelings we had, like the ones that overwhelm when you are leaving home for the first time. You quickly realise that all the stories you hear from friends and relatives or books you’ve read, never quite become the script you rehearse in anticipation of the life you’ve chosen. This is not to say that homeschool is not all it’s made out to be. It is. It’s just that we are all different and we are shaped as much by the choices we make as by the circumstances we’re placed in. Through the years, we have evaluated the course we’ve taken, and I dare say it’s like the ABCs: the alphabet is the same, but the letters are forming new words enriching our collective vocabulary.
Here are a few useful words we’ve learnt:
ACCEPTANCE
Whether you’re new to homeschool or not, the first thing you need to do is to accept one another. The heroes of the homeschooling community and the achievers we read about are great motivational stuff. It is right to be challenged and encouraged to achieve similar feats, but beware the tyranny of false expectations. The very reason why we homeschool is to break out from the rigidity of artificially imposed standards. So we ought not subscribe to the same and presume our children will learn in the same way, at the same pace, and in words unspoken, do us parents proud as if to prove homeschool ‘right.’
For instance, not every child must or will read at 3 or 4 years, or become a music prodigy. In the early ages, all a child needs are active play and a supportive parent-child relationship. There is something to be said about what we think our child needs as opposed to what he or she is ready for. Learning readiness (as well as learning styles) differs from person to person. Of course, the right attitudes towards learning must be nurtured, but we need to be clear about whose milestones our child is measured against, and for whose pleasure we desire what we are pursuing.
Bear in mind also that we parents have our limits too. Your spouse is not the fount of all knowledge, and neither are you. I cannot speak for all parents, but I know I am not Father of the Year material, and I should not expect my wife to be Super Mom of the Year. Share the load, even engage tutors if necessary. Although by homeschooling we reduce the number of variables, it does not mean we now have enough time to do everything in a home. Not many of us will have the luxury to do all things well, but by God’s grace we can decide to pay attention to the few that matter.
BALANCE
Second, we should always aim at balance in our homeschool. By this I mean a healthy approach to building mind, body and soul. In the words of social theorist Neil Postman, true education must include, “the art and science of question-asking.” This will come from wide reading and deep conversations. We must aim at becoming as familiar as Paul himself was (with Greek writings), and as the early Church Fathers (like Augustine) were with secular classics and philosophies of their day.
Nevertheless, it would not do to develop external skills, head knowledge and competence without equally building our child’s interior life. Granted, this cannot be artificially induced. But the seeds must be planted early so that God can breathe life into them in his time so the child resonates with the disciplines and passions of a person who knows Jesus personally.
Balance also means giving a child an acceptable level of social interaction. Church friends and activities are good, but we also need to ask how else to expand our circle beyond the holy huddle. I remember what Luis Palau once said, that when manure is spread out, it fertilises. Pile them in one place and it does nothing but stink. Ministry and community service help us to look away from self-indulgence and protection of our comfort zones.
CONVICTION
Finally, hold on to your convictions. I have observed that the less clear a parent is regarding homeschool concepts, the more frazzled he or she is likely to be. Social pressures (from non-homeschooling parents, friends or church leaders) will shake your confidence if you do not know what you are doing. Differing ideas between Mom and Dad also puts a strain on how to homeschool or discipline a child. In that unhappy state, a child is not going to find an environment that is conducive to learning and spiritual formation.
I know most people say they homeschool because the present education system is ‘bad.’ That’s a reason – up to a point – but is this all? Because that would mean scraping home education if a new school opens next door promising everything you ever dreamed about to help your child achieve his ‘full potential’ (endorsed by ‘experts’ no less!). Go ahead and enroll your child if it works for you, but in the meantime it’s going to have a bearing on your attitudes and the way you educate your child at home.
A tentative “I-wish-I-didn’t-have-to-homeschool-but-I’ve-got-no-choice” position will make homeschool unbearable for yourself and your child. If you should take your child out of conventional schooling, you must be clear what you are putting him into as a substitute, for how long, and to what end. The bewilderment over curriculum or methodology can usually be traced to misunderstanding of means and ends, but mainly to unarticulated convictions.
You need to be clear too that homeschool comes packaged with some ‘risks’, the way conventional schooling has its own. Let me qualify that: we are all pioneers making things up as we go along, living with less than our ideals demand – while we work to make things better for ourselves, and for the ones who will come after us.
Homeschool IS viable and practical, but it will ask a lot out of you and your spouse. Like parenting, what it asks is, what are you prepared to pay to make it work?
Of course, you have to contend with an ambivalent Ministry of Education as well. Unlike countries like the US or Australia, homeschool ranks pretty low on the acceptability scale. For various reasons, the authorities are not going to pat you on the back for your good intentions. You may have to take a chance by not applying for exemption, or take a chance applying (in which case you cannot be sure if it will be favourable or not).
Let me conclude by saying that if we have to live our lives all over again, we would make the same decision to educate our boys at home. Homeschool has been a real blessing in more ways than one. We experienced the faithfulness of God to make us equal to the challenges that came. We learnt what it meant to obey God one day at a time, and then to leave the consequences to him. As you go along, I have no doubt you’ll learn the same.
20 September 2002
Homeschool Liberties
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Reading.
GUEST WRITER: Grace Koh
Tears began to well up in her large, dark eyes. Her mouth, usually formed into a mischievous grin, began to take on an inverted U-shape.Then she began to cry. Loudly.
“Okay, okay. We’ll do something else,” I said wearily. I put away the book and resigned myself to the fact that my fourth attempt had ended in miserable failure – like all the previous attempts. I made a mental note to look for someone to donate the book to.
My daughter is bright, intelligent, inquisitive and one of her favourite words is ‘Why?’. She knew her alphabet and could easily recognise various words she sees around her. But she couldn’t read. Or rather, she wouldn’t.
I was trying to get her started on reading by using the time-tested `Peter and Jane’ series. Clearly it was not working. As newcomers to homeschooling, I cannot even begin to describe how discouraged I was feeling, having to face this setback so early on. I was completely disheartened.
As the days passed, I began to feel better as I observed how happy Beatrix was, busying herself with her usual ‘activities’. I then recalled the moment she had announced her educational preference by telling me emphatically, “Mummy, I don’t want to go to school.”
That was a year ago from then, when she was about two plus and I had been collecting brochures and scouting around for a suitable playschool/kindy. Her clear intention not to attend school hurled me into a world of turmoil and eventually, pushed me into the unchartered territory (or so I thought – then) of homeschooling.
As I began to explore this educational possibility, it seemed to me to be more and more viable in more ways than one. It took me a good six months of (part-time) research and plenty of encouragement from other homeschoolers before we officially decided to go the homeschool way.
Back to the reading bit. Some time after the final abortive attempt at `Peter and Jane,’ we went to our favourite bookstore to browse. My daughter loved to be read to, despite her seemingly reluctant attitude towards reading. She had wanted to look for a new Tigger story. It was then that a range of reading books caught my eye – a series of twenty books with catchy titles, interesting stories and fascinating illustrations. I leafed through Book 1 and showed it to my daughter, tentatively asking, “Would you be interested in this?”
She took the book and flipped over the pages. “Yes!” came the excited reply.
The book was a smash hit! Beatrix enjoyed it tremendously and would even pick it up herself to read after we had gone over it a couple of times. Soon we went on to Book 2, then Book 3, then Book 4.
By relating this story, I am by no means suggesting that everyone should abandon Peter and Jane and turn to the reading series we are using. What I am saying is that there will always be alternatives available if ‘classic’ ones don’t work. And homeschooling gives us, as teachers, fantastic opportunities to choose those best suited for our children.
Alternatives which would otherwise be disallowed or not even considered in conventional schooling. Homeschooling my child has made me realise that, just like adults do not all learn the same thing in the same manner, neither do children. They are, after all, ‘little adults’.
As homeschoolers, we have the blessed luxury and treasured liberty of choice.
My short path so far along the homeschooling road had been rather bumpy. My friends, well-meaning though they may be, never tire of showing me their horrified expressions when they meet me and find out that Beatrix, now five, is still ‘not in school’. They always dutifully point out and warn me of the dire consequences she would face as an adult if she were not exposed to the ‘real world’ via the school system.
As for my relatives (and my husband’s) well, that is another story altogether!
But I have a lot more resolve now than I did a year ago, and anti-homeschool sentiments from friends and families alike are affecting me less and less. Each time I hit a trough, all I have to do is to look at Beatrix and I feel more convinced that we have made the right decision for her wholistic education.
Now, if only I can find a way to effectively teach her to be diligent in clearing her always-overflowing table.
About the writer: Grace Koh’s daughter Beatrix was 5 years old when she contributed this piece in 2002
7 March 2001
Timely Tips for Homeschoolers
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Values.
Guest Writer: Celine Leslie
Although many miles separate us, I feel a oneness in my heart with you, the home-educators of Malaysia and Singapore. Some of you know that our precious little boy, Kyle, went to be with the Lord in November 2000, but we are still left with 3 equally precious gifts whom we continue to home-educate. Actually, they are more than gifts, they are our heritage (Ps 127:4). Gifts may be temporary, but a heritage lasts forever.
Friends, we may not see the results of our sweat and tears in the near future, but rest assured that the seeds that we sow into their lives will bear fruit for eternity. Unlike athletes that train in order to attain short term glory, we make ourselves fit for a task that has far-reaching effects – that of laying the foundation for the future generations.
Not being a structured person by nature, organisational skills are not part of my forte and I have had to work at learning how to be more efficient. Many mothers have lamented that were it not for their lack of such skills, they would consider the option of homeschooling. Homeschooling certainly has a way of forcing us to be more efficient in our use of time and resources. May I encourage you, wherever you are at, to work at this – don’t compare yourself to anyone else, but work at making small steps of improvement.
Here are some tips on the use of time.
Prioritise: We are to be accountable to the Lord for our use of time, so we need to be careful about prioritising. It would help to see where we are at by recording what we do for a week. Use the categories of Sleep, Eat, Work (incl housework, preparing schoolwork), Spiritual Activities (visiting, preparing sunday school, etc.), Church Attendance, Personal Devotion/prayer, Entertainment and Leisure (with children/spouse). Maybe driving should be a category by itself, judging from the traffic in KL!
Economise: We can learn to economise our use of time, by cutting down on time-wasters. Eg. can we make less shopping trips and make sure that we do as much as possible everytime we have to go out in the car? Be brutal with the use of the phone (unhook it in the morning). Instead of watching the TV, read a good book with the children (it will feed their minds much more than the contents in the so-called textbooks).
Maximise: Kill two birds with one stone whenever possible. Talk to the children when you are driving. Learn the times tables in the car. When you are cooking, get the children to help, even if it takes longer. In the long run, they will learn to love cooking and help save you time! If you are having trouble finding time for individual devotional time with each child, do it when you are putting them to bed. Have a memory verse to go through each week and do it with them at that time. Pick themes for your verses, according to their needs, eg. forgiveness, overcoming fear, being kind, etc.
Organise: Insist that all the family write down appointments on the family calendar as soon as anything is confirmed. That way you won’t forget upcoming events. Do your exercises as part of daily activities, eg. when the children have their play time, you can do your jumping on a little trampoline, or have family walks every evening, or when everyone is watching the news, do your stretching then. I do ankle exercises when I’m brushing my teeth! The important thing is to plan the time, then apply yourself to do it. There are many daily and weekly planners available – find one that suits you. It only takes 4 weeks to form a new habit, so with the Lord’s help, changes are possible.
Have you any tips that have helped your family? Maybe you’d like to share them too. I would personally love to hear about what works for other families and my ears are forever trying to pick up new ideas.
About the Writer: Malaysian-born Celine and her family reside and homeschool in Adelaide.