29 October 2009
So why did you choose to homeschool?
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Education.
“So why did you choose to homeschool? Your children are normal….”
It is often supposed that unless there was some dire need for keeping a child at home, depriving a child of conventional schooling is unreasonable, and possibly even damaging. Why? Because no parent could ever be sufficiently equipped or knowledgeable enough to do the stuff that school teachers are paid to do. More importantly, there are suspicions that weirdos who keep their kids at home risk turning out social misfits (a) whose sheltered upbringing leave them easy prey in our nasty, cruel world, and (b) who don’t have a clue how to socialize like normal human beings or fit nicely into society.
I have now come to the conclusion that people trip over these inevitable questions of qualification and socialization because of an unresolved tension. What is this tension? Firstly, a lot of parents hope schooling will effect transfer of knowledge (sometimes called education) so their children can get good jobs, jobs that offer prestige (and lots of money preferably). So they want to be sure that the ones educating their children have the right stuff. Hence the dirty looks when parents say they want to teach their children themselves. What audacity!
Secondly, these same people also believe education is to make kids socially adept, get along with all sorts of people in our pluralistic society. The only way a person can get ahead is when they’re properly schooled to possess the right EQ and IQ, and play according to the rules ordained by social convention and the dictates of cultural forces, say a lot of well-intentioned friends. You know, you’ve got to buy into society’s worldview and values in order to get something out of it. This is where the tension surfaces, but I’ll get there in a moment.
Now, governments the world over stand unabashedly by what their citizens want. Therefore all the talk about “equipping students with employable skills” and “equipping students with critical skills as the workforce of tomorrow”. In Malaysia, the government of the day is careful to point out that education is also to “inculcate national consciousness by promoting common ideals, values, aspirations and loyalties to foster national unity.”
Here’s the rub, the tension I was referring to.
A lot of parents want their kids to be independent, critical thinkers; they hope that at the end of all that schooling, their children will possess “critical skills” – not only to find lucrative employment, but perhaps the courage of character to shape the world in a positive way even. Like Einstein, Steve Jobs, or Mohammad Yunus.
But independent critical thinkers are not known to accept “common ideals, values, aspirations and loyalties to foster national unity.” They fly against the wind, take chances, defy typecast. They’re likely slow learners, late bloomers, high school dropouts, and anti-establishment to boot.
Because of this seemingly divergent views about what schooling ought to accomplish, we debate over who qualifies to teach, what to teach, what language is best, and how to teach our children. We’re arguing over what Neil Postman calls ‘engineering matters’ which are but questions about the best way to deliver school services.
Homeschool, like conventional schools are really a means to an end; they’re meant to take our children somewhere. Whether one chooses to educate a child at home or have her regimented in a school, the question to ask is, what is education for? Of course one can have several objectives (even conflicting ones), but don’t let them get in the way of what the overriding goal of education ought to be. 
If such a question sounds too daunting, here’s another: what sort of person do you want your child to be? I know that’s not a question you can grade or is it an end that comes necessarily after some 12 years of learning. But it’s an essential starting point. As the Cheshire Cat told Alice at the fork in the road when she asked which way to take, “That depends a great deal on where you want to get to.”
Similarly, choosing homeschool or traditional schooling depends on what you want your child to grow up into. No cheating now. Don’t say, “It’s not my job to shape my child, education is supposed to be neutral – I just want to let her be her own person, find her own way.” The truth is, education is never neutral or agenda-free.
Then if you should choose to homeschool, you’ll be unfazed by detractors who question your sanity, or by circumstances that threaten to overwhelm. The road ahead may be inconvenient and demanding, even costly; but I promise it will be a rewarding one.
25 April 2005
End of Education
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Books; Education.
THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO LOOK AT EDUCATION since it encompasses processes (how we learn) and formal knowledge (what we learn), but what is it all for? The late Neil Postman in his book End of Education said the purpose of education is to provide moral guidance, a sense of continuity, explanations of the past, clarity to the present, and hope for the future. It’s certainly well put but as it is all too clear, more education does not a better world make.
To be fair Postman does give suggestions to actively connect thought and deed, knowledge and service, so that society gains from education. But to do that, he proposed we rescue schools from their deplorable state with a complete overhaul, which is as likely as a goose laying a golden egg.
The 9th century Persian mathematician Al-Khwarizmi who introduced Medieval Europe to arithmatic and algebra (from the Arabic al-jabru) called the latter ”the science of restoration and balancing.” I’d like to think it’s a definition that clues us in on what’s the point in any education – if I may be allowed to extrapolate from his thought.
Learning is more than acquiring knowledge or mastering a skill. To quote Dewey, it’s not preparation for life, because learning is life itself. And life expresses itself not just passively in our being, but also in our doing, which must include that which brings restoration and balance in a world tainted by the Fall.
Jesus who came not to be served but to serve went about teaching and doing good, so the Gospels tell us. In his letter to the Ephesians Paul said that the Church of God has been amply gifted with teachers,pastors, and prophets to equip His people for works of service . And to Timothy, Paul said that the Bible was given to equip God’s people for good work.
The impulse behind all learning is to know God and His work in creation and history. We glorify Him when our learning finds expression in service to others. It was the great reformer Martin Luther who once wrote that God does not need our good works, but other people do. Life-long learning for a life of service. Makes sense to me. Now can anyone help Ethan make sense of algebra?
25 January 2004
ABCs of homeschooling
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ.
We do not all enter the New Year in the same fashion. For a new homeschooler it will be a year of transition, a new way of doing things, a new routine even. For older homeschoolers, it’s usually a new resolve to improve their performance.
The more regimented among us would have a mission statement spelled out, all purpose-driven and milestone appointed. But whether by force of habit or compelled by circumstances, many others (among whom I count myself) will be stumbling into the new calendar while they are busy doing other things.
Eight years ago, we burnt our bridges and boldly went where few had trod (at least in Malaysia). We had decided to keep our two children at home, believing it was the best thing to do. My wife Sook Ching would give up her job and once the maid’s term ended, we would be turning over a new page, writing a new chapter. That was a lot of changes we packed into our new year back then, not to mention the repercussions of the Asian economic meltdown at the time. We did not have lots of resources such as cash or connections, and we would not and could not look back now.
You can imagine the mixed feelings we had, like the ones that overwhelm when you are leaving home for the first time. You quickly realise that all the stories you hear from friends and relatives or books you’ve read, never quite become the script you rehearse in anticipation of the life you’ve chosen. This is not to say that homeschool is not all it’s made out to be. It is. It’s just that we are all different and we are shaped as much by the choices we make as by the circumstances we’re placed in. Through the years, we have evaluated the course we’ve taken, and I dare say it’s like the ABCs: the alphabet is the same, but the letters are forming new words enriching our collective vocabulary.
Here are a few useful words we’ve learnt:
ACCEPTANCE
Whether you’re new to homeschool or not, the first thing you need to do is to accept one another. The heroes of the homeschooling community and the achievers we read about are great motivational stuff. It is right to be challenged and encouraged to achieve similar feats, but beware the tyranny of false expectations. The very reason why we homeschool is to break out from the rigidity of artificially imposed standards. So we ought not subscribe to the same and presume our children will learn in the same way, at the same pace, and in words unspoken, do us parents proud as if to prove homeschool ‘right.’
For instance, not every child must or will read at 3 or 4 years, or become a music prodigy. In the early ages, all a child needs are active play and a supportive parent-child relationship. There is something to be said about what we think our child needs as opposed to what he or she is ready for. Learning readiness (as well as learning styles) differs from person to person. Of course, the right attitudes towards learning must be nurtured, but we need to be clear about whose milestones our child is measured against, and for whose pleasure we desire what we are pursuing.
Bear in mind also that we parents have our limits too. Your spouse is not the fount of all knowledge, and neither are you. I cannot speak for all parents, but I know I am not Father of the Year material, and I should not expect my wife to be Super Mom of the Year. Share the load, even engage tutors if necessary. Although by homeschooling we reduce the number of variables, it does not mean we now have enough time to do everything in a home. Not many of us will have the luxury to do all things well, but by God’s grace we can decide to pay attention to the few that matter.
BALANCE
Second, we should always aim at balance in our homeschool. By this I mean a healthy approach to building mind, body and soul. In the words of social theorist Neil Postman, true education must include, “the art and science of question-asking.” This will come from wide reading and deep conversations. We must aim at becoming as familiar as Paul himself was (with Greek writings), and as the early Church Fathers (like Augustine) were with secular classics and philosophies of their day.
Nevertheless, it would not do to develop external skills, head knowledge and competence without equally building our child’s interior life. Granted, this cannot be artificially induced. But the seeds must be planted early so that God can breathe life into them in his time so the child resonates with the disciplines and passions of a person who knows Jesus personally.
Balance also means giving a child an acceptable level of social interaction. Church friends and activities are good, but we also need to ask how else to expand our circle beyond the holy huddle. I remember what Luis Palau once said, that when manure is spread out, it fertilises. Pile them in one place and it does nothing but stink. Ministry and community service help us to look away from self-indulgence and protection of our comfort zones.
CONVICTION
Finally, hold on to your convictions. I have observed that the less clear a parent is regarding homeschool concepts, the more frazzled he or she is likely to be. Social pressures (from non-homeschooling parents, friends or church leaders) will shake your confidence if you do not know what you are doing. Differing ideas between Mom and Dad also puts a strain on how to homeschool or discipline a child. In that unhappy state, a child is not going to find an environment that is conducive to learning and spiritual formation.
I know most people say they homeschool because the present education system is ‘bad.’ That’s a reason – up to a point – but is this all? Because that would mean scraping home education if a new school opens next door promising everything you ever dreamed about to help your child achieve his ‘full potential’ (endorsed by ‘experts’ no less!). Go ahead and enroll your child if it works for you, but in the meantime it’s going to have a bearing on your attitudes and the way you educate your child at home.
A tentative “I-wish-I-didn’t-have-to-homeschool-but-I’ve-got-no-choice” position will make homeschool unbearable for yourself and your child. If you should take your child out of conventional schooling, you must be clear what you are putting him into as a substitute, for how long, and to what end. The bewilderment over curriculum or methodology can usually be traced to misunderstanding of means and ends, but mainly to unarticulated convictions.
You need to be clear too that homeschool comes packaged with some ‘risks’, the way conventional schooling has its own. Let me qualify that: we are all pioneers making things up as we go along, living with less than our ideals demand – while we work to make things better for ourselves, and for the ones who will come after us.
Homeschool IS viable and practical, but it will ask a lot out of you and your spouse. Like parenting, what it asks is, what are you prepared to pay to make it work?
Of course, you have to contend with an ambivalent Ministry of Education as well. Unlike countries like the US or Australia, homeschool ranks pretty low on the acceptability scale. For various reasons, the authorities are not going to pat you on the back for your good intentions. You may have to take a chance by not applying for exemption, or take a chance applying (in which case you cannot be sure if it will be favourable or not).
Let me conclude by saying that if we have to live our lives all over again, we would make the same decision to educate our boys at home. Homeschool has been a real blessing in more ways than one. We experienced the faithfulness of God to make us equal to the challenges that came. We learnt what it meant to obey God one day at a time, and then to leave the consequences to him. As you go along, I have no doubt you’ll learn the same.
5 April 2001
Rebel Parents
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting; Values.
How many times have you heard parents ask, “Where do you find the patience to teach your own children?” It is a question that usually arises after an admission by these same parents that they could never homeschool since they lack the necessary patience quotient. Some people have it, others don’t. Period. How do you manage staying in with these kids all day, anyway? Off to a learning center then, my darlings.
Parenting flows from the heart
Once a well-known columnist in a local paper wrote to me that parenting is something that flows from the heart; unless one loved children, parenting would be a horrible burden. How ‘lucky’ our kids to have parents who are not denying them their childhood. Her words echo those of a Christian leader who advised against being dogmatic about career mothers, since there are indeed women who just couldn’t cope otherwise. As observations go, you can’t fault that I suppose.
Not being a prickly pedant myself (besides being a man), I’ll say to each her own. After all what merit is there in a stay-in mother (or father) who’s either indulgent or indifferent, or worst, who’s both? Perhaps I’m trying too hard to be inclusive, but didn’t Paul say that while one man eats everything and another only vegetables, our heavenly Father accepts them both?
A few years ago at a talk on alternative education, a father came up to me and asked if homeschooling could reform his teenager. A hulking 14-year old and perpetual truant, he had defied instruction, discipline and authority at home and school. I didn’t know what to say except to caution that homeschool doesn’t do anything unless a child respects his parent’s authority first. That means working on discipline before academics.
Compare that with a mother whose 14-year old is presently enrolled in a learning center. She had been doing poorly in conventional schools leaving the flustered Mom to turn to a center that promised low teacher-student ratio and a more interesting English-based curriculum. Now, the daughter’s not doing so good there too. Mom doesn’t have the time, and confessed that she didn’t have the patience either to relate with her. So could we arrange for her daughter to interact with other homeschooling teens so she could pick up better habits?
I wish there was a magic wand to miraculously turn the hearts of children to their parents. You know, wave it, intone the magic words “h-o-m-e-s-c-h-o-o-l,” and viola! you’re on the cover of “Teaching Home.” Oh, did I use the wrong words? How about, “l-e-a-r-n-i-n-g c-e-n-t-r-e” ?
Personal investments for a happy home
The age of instant noodles and high-speed bandwidth connections has apparently given rise to the notion that parenting is a formula or system one can purchase off the shelf. Don’t have the right stuff? Get one that fits, pay someone to do it and praise God for small mercies. Sorry. As they say, no pain, no gain. The natural response may be to balk at the personal investment required to raise kids, but Scripture doesn’t soft-peddle God’s injunctions for happy homes.
Children come packaged and labeled with a divine RDA: 100% Love, 100% Patience, 100% Attention. Okay, I may be pushing the analogy a wee bit, but you get my drift: some things are non-negotiable. Parents have to obey His word, make the time, live exemplary lives, align our desires and ambitions with God’s will for our families. Deuteronomy 6 describes a parent’s job as a moment-by-moment responsibility, while in Ephesians 6, fathers are called not to exasperate their children but to instruct them in the Lord. There is no shortcut key. Imagine husband who desires a happy marriage but admits he doesn’t have time for his wife or the patience to make it work! It doesn’t get easier with children, homeschooling or not.
So Mom stays home and rules the roost as homemaker, homeschool teacher and all. But an absentee father, busy with work, church, or golf with neither inclination nor interest in his children’s affairs isn’t doing his family any favour. Recently we were shown a birthday card designed by a child for his father. Beautifully done on the computer with quotations and cartoons, it was a touching tribute from a son to a golf-loving Dad who by all accounts was a devoted parent and loving provider. Turning to the last page however I read, “Even if you don’t spend time with me, even though you’re too busy to remember my birthday, I still think you’re the best daddy in the world!” I put the card down, momentarily jarred by the irony of it all, thinking to myself how children are so wonderfully accepting.
Parents as rebels
Neil Postman in his new book Building A Bridge To The 18th Century writes that parenting is an act of rebellion. By that he means that parents must choose to go against the grain of our age. If we care for the lives of our children, we must rebel against these callous times, in much the same way husbands and wives pledge faithfulness in our throwaway culture, in opposition to a lifestyle of instant gratification. Why God doesn’t simply zap us into shape, make us great parents, turn toady kids into handsome princes and beautiful princesses (with a hasty S.O.S prayer) is anybody’s guess.
That an astute social critic should be so emphatic about the responsibility of parents embarrasses Christians who possess God’s word but dodge its demands. Perhaps the teaching of easy triumphalism has lulled us into forgetting that Jesus’ path to glory took him down the road to Calvary first. Homeschool is no genie-in-a-bottle promising compliant sons and daughters; education is not a set curriculum or teaching methodology. The way to healthy, godly children starts with a relationship, beginning with our own with God, and then with our young.
As we approach Palm Sunday, let our hosannas ring with humble appreciation for the price our heavenly Father paid to restore fellowship with us, His prodigal sons and daughters. Now, there’s an example too big to miss. We’re on a journey of a lifetime; the is not always clear, but the sun never fails to break through. Breezes blow, invigorating and hopeful. How good it is to have the Lord with us.