1 September 2009
Little victories, big encouragement
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ; Parenting.
[DT: Homeschool may not always be the first choice for families. Fear and anxiety are common. In this final post – the fifth in a series that began on 18 August – a homeschooling mother shares her own tentative feelings and the little victories that made her journey worthwhile.]
THIS FATHER’S POST REMINDED ME a lot of the feelings I had when we first decided to homeschool two of our five children. I prayed and cried, wondering if I was doing the right thing, not sure if I wanted to take on the difficult task of working with my two boys, wondering if I would be stunting their future. In their case, the school was unable and unwilling to work with us to meet their needs. All we wanted to do was hold them back a grade (they are twins), but the school was inflexible.
Now 4 months later, I felt it was the best decision we made, especially for them. Yes it is hard, and it is not convenient. But one of the boys who never showed any desire to read or write now cares that words are spelled correctly – a small thing but a huge victory to us, showing that he is learning to be interested in language. Once the desire is there, the other elements will fall into place.
The boys no longer cry when I correct their mistakes. If I told them their answer was not correct either verbally or in their schoolwork, they use to emotionally fall apart and say I was calling them stupid. It broke my heart for them to think that.
It has been a hard road building back their self esteem, and we are not through yet. But these little victories, the changes in attitude and for them to regain their eagerness to learn and be curious is worth every rough moment we have had.
Our original plans had been to incorporate them back into their former school after 1-2 years but I wonder if they would lose more than they would gain. It is in God’s hands and I trust that we will know what to do when the time is right. My thanks to all of you as I have read your comments and I too gained hope and encouragement from them.
Sincerely,
Juli
25 August 2009
Family on the move, and baby on the way
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ; Parenting.
“There will be a lot of adjustments when the baby comes….how will we cope?”
[DT: When a father wrote to express fears homeschooling 2 children with a third on the way, many moms sent in encouragement for him to continue and not give up. This post which is #4 in a series that began on 18 August, comes from a mom who's got more than baby on her mind, but is happily homeschooling all the same!]
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your wife’s pregnancy! I’m presently pregnant with my 3rd child who’s due in mid December (I’m about 21 weeks along). I have 2 boys – Ian, 5+ and Pio, 2+. We’re homeschooling the Charlotte Mason way.
I understand your concerns about homeschooling, as we’re going through some big changes ourselves. We’re moving to Hanoi, Vietnam, next Saturday, and will remain there for 1 year as my husband has an assignment there. With all the packing and organizing and planning, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed … and I sometimes get ahead of myself and tend to get anxious and worried about things, especially about homeschooling.
Early next year, there’ll be a whole lot of CHANGES in our family and lifestyle – new environment & home, new baby and new ‘school’ year for Ian, who will be 6 yrs, like your eldest son. We’ve never had a hired domestic helper (well, I have 3 non-hired ones actually — my 2 boys and my husband haha!), and do not plan to have any in the future. I believe that EDUCATION is MUCH more than just the academics – a child must learn the basics of life, especially on how to take care of himself and others, and these are best learned at home, through every day routines and house chores, etc.
I agree with the other homeschoolers who have replied your email – a child can LEARN anytime, anywhere, anyhow – and everything is an opportunity for learning. Even though I know that our homeschool next year will NOT be a typical ‘school year’, I am sure that my children will get the best out of everything.
Having said that, once all the packing and organizing were done, I seized the opportunity to plan out our Year 1 (Gr 1 for age 6-7). I’ve gathered all the books and materials that we need for each subject and came up with a schedule system that is flexible enough to be modified easily. That way, when baby is born, I can fully concentrate on breastfeeding (which, by the way, makes life so much easier for everyone, especially mommy! not to mention that it is the best food for baby) WHILE homeschooling the 6-year-old. The 3-yr-old tags along in our homeschool lessons (which are done as informally as possible for children of these young ages) if he wants to — If he doesn’t, I have ‘activity boxes’ (Duplos, playdoh, art supplies, etc) to keep him occupied while I do a lesson with his older brother.
You must keep in mind that homeschooling is NOT “school at home” It is actually EDUCATING the child in the HEART OF THE HOME, in the domestic church, which is the FAMILY. The best part of homeschooling is that we can make it as flexible as we want it to be, all the while, enjoying each other’s presence and building strong bonds and relationships within the family. It’s always the toughest during the beginning phase, but it will soon become second nature. I am inspired by many homeschooling families overseas who have 7-10 children and no helpers, and they’re having the time of their lives homeschooling! The support that I’ve gotten from these veteran homeschoolers have really kept me going, especially when there’re any uncertainty or self-doubt.
If you like, I would be more than happy to share with you our lesson plan outline for our 6-yr-old next year, and the schedule planners and templates which you and your wife can modify easily for your own usage. I kept our schedule very light next year, as the main priority is to spend time together as a family with new baby. As “light” as it is, I do not believe that our homeschool schedule will “shortchange” my son in any way, as it is very rich and full of life. That’s another great thing about homeschooling – we can focus on what we believe is important and limit those that we believe are not!
I just want to affirm you in your decision to homeschool your children – it is a decision that you will not regret! Despite all the challenges and a new learning curve, you, your wife and your children will be having the most wonderful time of your lives!
GOD BLESS!
Dominique
21 August 2009
Very pregnant. And still homeschooling.
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ; Parenting.
“Help! We’ve got 2 kids, and my wife’s pregnant. Should we just quit homeschooling?”
[DT: It's not uncommon for homeschooling dads to get nervous when baby's on the way. In her reply to this anxious dad, a mother of 4 shares what she believes is the heart of homeschool and what her family did when she was expecting. This encouraging testimony is #3 in a series of responses that I began posting on 18 August]
I ALSO GRAPPLE with personal insecurities every now and then. During such times I do lose sight of God’s purpose for me, but as I watch my children grow, and reflect, I’ve so much to thank God for 
I’ve 4 kids (ages 11, 10, 6 and 1+) so I know the needs are real and can be overwhelming. Although homeschooling has not been always easy, it is not impossible either. My husband and I planted a new church last year, and my youngest was born in the same year. Busy is an understatement. I’ve no word to describe it, but God was our strength and his grace was sufficient.
With every pregnancy and birth in the family (two of my kids were premature babes) my children continued learning. Each time, learning took on a different form but the process still went on! Nevertheless, one lesson stood out every time: SERVICE ABOVE SELF. No matter their age, I’ve observed my children have learnt to be selfless and serve the new baby and their mum with love and respect. Along the way, they have become more independent conquering new tasks.
Last year, my girls began a project on “babies” during my pregnancy. Then during my confinement month, they did intense research all by themselves – books, internet, discussing issues with adults – to come up with a lapbook each. They kept adding more information as they went along and finally on their baby brother’s 1st birthday this year they presented their project to him and all of us in the family.
The girls’ lapbooks had a song they composed while baby was still in the tummy, stories they wrote, a slideshow of baby’s milestones, interesting facts on reproduction, breastfeeding, babywearing, and puberty. They also put up posters and mini-display booths on nutrition, cloth diapers and sarong-slings, etc for viewing. That was something for my father-in-law who remains very skeptical about homeschool even after all these years! None of my kids went to public school, and to think that they did the lapbooks all by themselves as a gift for their l’il brother.
When the girls were younger (under 6), we just read a lot, played a lot, and we talked a lot about whatever was happening around us (we still do all that). As you can see, learning is not confined to textbooks and workbooks alone. If we duplicate the school system at home, we miss the true essence of homeschool. It will really be good for you and your spouse to really understand its essence and KNOW your motivation behind your decision to homeschool.
Seek God daily to keep your focus and purpose, as well as creativity and opportunity to enhance the learning process. God is so ready to give. We have never lacked resources (we don’t even buy a curriculum) and strength. Did I say strength? Oh, how we all need it, but not our own but God’s divine provision upon whom we depend totally.
You will be in my prayers
Selina
19 August 2009
Homeschooling when baby makes 4
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ; Parenting.
[DT: What happens to homeschool when baby arrives? Time to hunker down or throw in the towel? This mom of 4 tells how she worked things out without giving homeschool up. This is post #2 in a series - see previous post - of wonderful testimonies taken from our HOMEFRONTIER forum]
I HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOLING MY KIDS FOR 3 YEARS. I too panicked when I heard that I was pregnant with number 4. I wondered how I would cope with a 2yo who thinks he is Wolverine, a 4yo who still needs help in the toilet, and a 10yo reaching puberty (aiyoyo!). I could barely keep awake from sleepless nights, breastfeeding, and recovering from all that needed doing, but things did eventually work out!
Here’s what I did before baby was born:
1. Put kids in age-appropriate playgroups
I noticed my kids could play and form better friendships with others their age. Since there was none near my home and I didn’t have a car to zoom around, I formed 2 playgroups at home: one for my 11yo and another for my 3 and 5yo. When the kids came over they got to play and I got to take a breather. My 5yo found his best friend this way and now they are inseparable.
2. Lessen emphasis on academics
Workbooks and all that can wait. Having a new baby is a wonderful opportunity to introduce your kids to biology at work. I took my kids to the O&G clinic, they saw me get an ultrasound and take a blood test, and listened as my doctor interpreted the scan. They examined my growing tummy, and later after baby was delivered they prodded my deflated stomach, and watched as I breastfed the baby. Along the way the kids asked questions and that’s how learning took place.
3. Lessen my own workload
I formed a cooperative learning group. My 11yo learnt the violin at her friend’s house and took lessons from another 11-year old on Thursdays. That’s where she picked up badminton as well and now she’s keen for more training. Once a month she joined a study group in the home of another friend whose dad would teach whatever was the flavour of the month. This month her friend’s dad will be taking them all to the museum to learn about the Emergency (a pet topic of this dad).
Also, the parents that I have met through HOMEFRONTIER and MALHEN have been enormously supportive and my kids have benefited greatly from socializing with other families.
Hope this helps.
Yuling
18 August 2009
Giving up homeschool
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ; Parenting.
Your wife has her hands full with two children under 6 years, and now she’s pregnant with the third child. You think to yourself: perhaps homeschool isn’t such a good idea after all. You don’t think she can cope; you’re not even sure if you can cope either. Now you’re thinking about calling the whole thing off and send the kids to a school or a learning center….
[DT: The scenario is real. After sharing his honest feelings on our HOMEFRONTIER forum, a father receives testimony after testimony from moms who think homeschool is too good to give up on. They were so encouraging I decided to edit excerpts from among the several to share. Here's the first.]
CONGRATULATIONS on your wife’s pregnancy. With 2 boys and one more on the way, I can understand your skepticism – they can be quite a handful! Though my homeschooling journey hasn’t been that far along, I was compelled to reply when I read your post: “Thinking of giving up homeschooling…?”
For me homeschooling has never been a concept or method, but a lifestyle. It isn’t ‘school-at-home’ but an opportunity to involve myself with my children (d-10 and s-5 years) and facilitate their learning in every avenue of their lives. It is me growing with my kids and learning with them, and from them.
I work from home and I too don’t have a domestic helper. It seemed hard at first trying to fit everything in a ‘set schedule’ but finally I gave up trying. We can never fit life into a set schedule. While my daughter has a slightly more defined ‘learning path‘, my son’s learning revolves more around his life and my own. So when I’m working, he tries to read some of my stuff, or plays in the same room where I’m ironing. I play games together with him, and in the evenings we take walks in the park. The fact is, children learn all the time and it doesn’t necessarily happen at the kitchen table when ‘school is in session’.
With a new baby in the home, there’s plenty of learning opportunities i.e. from the feeding pattern of a baby, your children learn about time; if your baby is breastfed, they could learn about nutrition and how breast milk promotes health; and if baby is bottle-fed, they learn measurements (how much powder to how much water in baby’s bottle). There are also learning opportunities in bathing the baby and her nap times in which you would have unconsciously incorporated science, math, personal hygiene, daily life-skills, and more.
This is just a tiny example of what you can do in your homeschooling life, and the possibilities are endless. The internet is also an infinite resource for research into all the things you can do as you homeschool through this period of your life. I do hope you and your wife can see homeschooling in a different light and reconsider. Your children will thank you for it.
All the best,
Sweeyen
8 January 2009
Can I homeschool both my sons at the same time?
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Q & A.
A recent email arrived asking about homeschooling 2 children at the same time. I thought it best to let my wife Sook Ching – who’s the primary tutor in our home – take up the question. I’ve revised the query a little to maintain the privacy of the enquirer.
Q: Do you think I can homeschool both my sons who are a year apart? The oldest is 6 and the younger is 5 this year. If yes, do I teach them at the same time or have individual lessons with each? I will be the sole educator as my husband manages his own business, so I won’t be asking him to contribute in the classroom, but perhaps in other areas. Having said that, my oldest son is in final year of preschool this year; do you think I can slowly and tentatively incorporate year one lessons this year? Or am I jumping the gun?
A: I’m Sook Ching, wife to David Tan, and mother to 2 boys, Ethan and Elliot, now 19 and 17 respectively. I do believe that every child is a gift of God and uniquely and lovingly designed by Him, and that’s why we believe that homeschool is a real blessing: because it allows parents to tailor and adapt an education programme to fit a particular child and make learning a joy and a lifestyle! Compare that with the assembly line cookie cutter factory called “School” where every child has to learn the same things at the same time and at the same pace and style. And if a poor child is too fast or too slow by that average standard, or is in anyway different, he or she becomes a misfit and miserable. But that’s not the only beef we have with conventional schooling and I won’t go into all that now!
Yes, you can homeschool both boys: most families do it with more than 1 child, some like my neighbour with 5 and 1 on the way! I started with the same curriculum for both boys till they were older, then the older one did one level higher because he was faster in his math and reading. You’ll have to get to know your children and try out materials with them. If they find something easy, then they can go on a higher level and so on. The beauty of homeschooling is its flexibility: it allows each child to work at his own pace even in different subjects. So Son 1 may be doing Math Level 1 and English Level 3, while Son 2 may be at Math Level 4 and English Level 2. The important thing is to cultivate a love for learning and not study just to pass exams and get some certificates. The goal must to be to develop a person who can think critically creatively and who is also humble to know that he or she does not have all the answers, and therefore continues to be a lifelong learner.
Most mothers are the sole educators especially when the children are younger, though at all times, the presence and support of the father is important. The father can always act as a resource person in his area of expertise (math, computer, accounts, music etc?) and as an authority figure (the Principal) and counselor. When the boys grow older, you’ll find that they’ll be talking more to their dad than to you! The important thing is the building of relationships in the family which will last through the years to come: the sharing and communication that helps understanding and imparting of wisdom for the art of living, besides cold facts and figures. You’ve heard it said somewhere: if a child lives with love, encouragement, acceptance, forgiveness, honesty, etc, he’ll learn all these and grow to become a confident loving and mature person who is able to relate to everyone else in the world.
Actually, we only bought a curriculum for our boys when they were 7 and 9 or later. Before that, we used a lot of mix and match, materials from the local bookshops and the library from which we’d bring back piles of books on science, history, geography, and lovely illustrated storybooks. We went out a lot to play, to the playground, the swimming pool, the shopping malls, friends’ homes. They had time to play together and with friends all types of board games, Lego and other building toys, and time to draw and write and talk and just lie down and dream. We provided the environment of learning: books and materials for writing, drawing, and music. We switched off the TV too – it was only allowed on Saturdays when they were young. Back then we had no computers, but all these have to be restricted, so that they have time to read, talk, write, think, dream, be creative and imaginative and relate to people. Studies have shown that boys especially mature slower than girls when younger and do not normally do well in schools: they are more active and playful and to suppress them is to take away their joy and life! But also, children learn more from playing and informal situations.
16 July 2002
Kids’ Stuff
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Parenting.
GUEST WRITER: Kimberly Lee
“In our pursuit to provide our kids with things that we did not have when we were young, let us not forget to give our kids what we once had when we were kids”, was part of the message from our last Sunday Service.
These words spoke volumes about the kind of things that I wish to impart to my kids. We have two pre-school kids – Allyn is 5 and Aidan is 3.5. I, for one had fond memories of my childhood. My daddy is a good artist; he draws and paints very well. We had 4 siblings in the family. When I was growing up we hardly had toys or new clothes. But we were never short of paint – oil, pastel, water-colour, charcoal, etc. My daddy taught us something that he knew best – how to draw and paint.
I remember how I used to draw a rat and painted it red. This would annoy my teacher. She would try to persuade and reason with me why my rat should be black. I would simply reply that, ” My daddy says I can use any colour that I like. It’s just an expression.” And I still hold true to what my dear father said, this time with my very own kids. One day, I found my daughter colouring her monkey green!!!
A lot of things that I do with my kids revolve around the environment & nature. I do teach them a certain amount of academics, but I try to keep these within the context of the themes that we are pursuing. Among the activities that keep us busy at home include:
1. Nature themes – insects, birds
We would catch the different insects that come into our home and study them – ‘lab within the home’. The kids will get to feed the insects with different kinds of food and determine what kind of food suits the insects best. Once we had a cricket and it made so much noise at night that daddy had to leave it outside the house. We then read up more on crickets and found that the noise produced by a cricket corresponds with its surrounding temperature. That night the kids took the cricket into their air-conditioned room and it was a restful night for everybody.
One of the most recent projects is growing vegetables. We have already managed to get some seeds and styrofoam boxes. And we are looking forward to putting the soil in.
2. Nature walks
We love learning about the names of flowers and trees. We make occasional mini-trips (usually 1 – 1.5 hrs) to the Botanical Gardens covering a different section of the garden at a time – rainforest trail, palm gardens, cactus garden, flower gardens, etc.
The highlight of our trips is the information stall at the Gardens. The kids would get an ice- cream each as we talk to members of the `Friends of the Botanical Society’ raising questions about things we have seen. We would often pick up an item (dry leave, flower or ticket stub) for the kids’ journals.
Aidan isn’t really writing yet; but a small memento such as these usually stays in his memory for a good long time.
3. Field trips
I was away for a 4-day seminar recently so my husband took the opportunity to bring our kids back to his ‘kampung’ in Seremban. He wanted to show them his own ‘childhood experiences.’ The kids went to a waterfall/brook where their daddy used to visit when he was a child. They also had a chance to visit an ostrich farm and a museum.
Back at home in Penang, the kids love to ride with daddy in his truck for short drives. Recently they went to a durian orchard. Since the beach is also fairly near our home, we often go for a stroll together as a family, or sometimes fly a kite.
4. Library/bookshops
The Children’s Library is a stone’s throw away from our home. Tuesday is our library day. We read in the library as well as borrow books to bring home. Sometimes we go to a bookshop that has an inviting and child-friendly kids’ section.
By and large we do a lot of reading together. This is probably one of the most inexpensive yet fun activities for the kids. Although I am quite flexible with our reading schedule, we have stipulated times set aside just for this purpose: 3.00- 4.30 pm (that’s mommy’s wind-down time!!). After reading to the kids (usually a book each), I will read my own stuff and take a snooze!!
Bedtime stories & prayer is another ritual which is religiously observed in our home. One night Allyn fell asleep without her regular story & prayer. She got up at 2 am, stormed into our room and demanded her story and prayer!
5. Swimming/cycling
Friday afternoons are swimming days. Our kids usually meet up with 1 or 2 other homeschooling families to swim in the pool at one of the homes. Other times we just cycle in the park, or to each other’s home.
6. Art/craft
The kids’ art & craft materials are organised in a plastic 4-tier mini chest of drawers. We also custom-made a Montessori table (with laminated top for easy cleaning) which seats 4 kids (or adults) comfortably. The kids usually access these art materials themselves and work independently at the table. This activity is definitely one of their favourites.
Very often I have to make use of this ‘activity’ to lead them into academics. E.g.: Yesterday, we did a craft on snails. As part of the vocabulary building exercise, the kids were introduced to all the different words related to snails – glide, shell, tentacles, slimy, etc. I also taught Allyn to decode these words phonetically as she heard them. She also made up a story based on the different snails she made. I wrote out the story for her leaving out words which were part of the decoding exercise that we worked on earlier. She filled in these missing words and sketched some pictures to illustrate the story. So there we have a story “Happy Snail & Sad Snail” composed & illustrated by Allyn (albeit, dictated to and written by Mom!), which makes her simply eager to read the story to her brother.
7. Songs/music
My husband and I are neither musicians nor singers. Fortunately there are these glorified appliances with sing-along tunes called CDs and videos. Our kids simply learn by just listening and singing along. Allyn sometimes amazes us by doing simple dance steps from the videos. Their favourite video is “Hi-5″ an Australian music production.
Our kids do not speak a lot of Chinese at home but they are able to sing a few Chinese scripture choruses after listening a few times to a tape. Another tape series that’s good for memory verses is Steve Green’s “Hide Them in Your Heart.”
I also pin up a 7-verses-a-week chart for the kids. Everyday they (Aidan, least of all) would read out a verse from the chart. Usually the chart will be up for at least a month. But I am more interested that our children understand the verses fully before we move on.
In short, we are busy all the time.
About the writer: Kimberly and her family lived in Penang at the time of writing.
7 March 2001
Timely Tips for Homeschoolers
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Values.
Guest Writer: Celine Leslie
Although many miles separate us, I feel a oneness in my heart with you, the home-educators of Malaysia and Singapore. Some of you know that our precious little boy, Kyle, went to be with the Lord in November 2000, but we are still left with 3 equally precious gifts whom we continue to home-educate. Actually, they are more than gifts, they are our heritage (Ps 127:4). Gifts may be temporary, but a heritage lasts forever.
Friends, we may not see the results of our sweat and tears in the near future, but rest assured that the seeds that we sow into their lives will bear fruit for eternity. Unlike athletes that train in order to attain short term glory, we make ourselves fit for a task that has far-reaching effects – that of laying the foundation for the future generations.
Not being a structured person by nature, organisational skills are not part of my forte and I have had to work at learning how to be more efficient. Many mothers have lamented that were it not for their lack of such skills, they would consider the option of homeschooling. Homeschooling certainly has a way of forcing us to be more efficient in our use of time and resources. May I encourage you, wherever you are at, to work at this – don’t compare yourself to anyone else, but work at making small steps of improvement.
Here are some tips on the use of time.
Prioritise: We are to be accountable to the Lord for our use of time, so we need to be careful about prioritising. It would help to see where we are at by recording what we do for a week. Use the categories of Sleep, Eat, Work (incl housework, preparing schoolwork), Spiritual Activities (visiting, preparing sunday school, etc.), Church Attendance, Personal Devotion/prayer, Entertainment and Leisure (with children/spouse). Maybe driving should be a category by itself, judging from the traffic in KL!
Economise: We can learn to economise our use of time, by cutting down on time-wasters. Eg. can we make less shopping trips and make sure that we do as much as possible everytime we have to go out in the car? Be brutal with the use of the phone (unhook it in the morning). Instead of watching the TV, read a good book with the children (it will feed their minds much more than the contents in the so-called textbooks).
Maximise: Kill two birds with one stone whenever possible. Talk to the children when you are driving. Learn the times tables in the car. When you are cooking, get the children to help, even if it takes longer. In the long run, they will learn to love cooking and help save you time! If you are having trouble finding time for individual devotional time with each child, do it when you are putting them to bed. Have a memory verse to go through each week and do it with them at that time. Pick themes for your verses, according to their needs, eg. forgiveness, overcoming fear, being kind, etc.
Organise: Insist that all the family write down appointments on the family calendar as soon as anything is confirmed. That way you won’t forget upcoming events. Do your exercises as part of daily activities, eg. when the children have their play time, you can do your jumping on a little trampoline, or have family walks every evening, or when everyone is watching the news, do your stretching then. I do ankle exercises when I’m brushing my teeth! The important thing is to plan the time, then apply yourself to do it. There are many daily and weekly planners available – find one that suits you. It only takes 4 weeks to form a new habit, so with the Lord’s help, changes are possible.
Have you any tips that have helped your family? Maybe you’d like to share them too. I would personally love to hear about what works for other families and my ears are forever trying to pick up new ideas.
About the Writer: Malaysian-born Celine and her family reside and homeschool in Adelaide.