8 October 2009
Playing with infants and toddlers
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Child Development.
PLAYING IT UP
by Jeanie Hurley
Playing is the most natural thing in the world, but there’s much more to it than just having fun. Jeanie Hurley investigates the role of play in development from newborn baby to boisterous pre-schooler to see why playing is never a waste of time.
CHILDREN JUST LOVE TO PLAY and the great news is that play is good for them. From four months old a baby will smile and giggle when you make funny sounds or cuddle them up close. By eight months they’ve grasped the ‘where’s it gone?’ theory and are delighted by peek-a-boo games.
Early days
Dr Julie C Coultas, a social psychologist at East Sussex University, says playing has an essential role in children’s mental and physical development and as such says parents should see their role in helping babies and children play as ‘parental investment’. She explains that before 15 months the games should be led by the mother or carer with little peer interaction.
Liz Attenborough, from the National Literacy Trust, has helped launch a campaign to encourage parents to communicate with their babies. She believes what babies and young children learn from playing, equips them with valuable skills later on, and that it’s never too early to start. “Babies are born social and need an adult partner to develop their social skills. Playing involves being engaged in an enjoyable activity and you can begin playing with your baby as soon as she is conceived. Your baby will already be familiar with your voice if you talk to your bump while you’re pregnant, and you can start interacting now, when you feel the baby kick, gently tap back to see if you get a response.”
Development skills
Child development falls into the two main categories of physical and neurological. Physical skills involve both gross motor skills such as rolling over, crawling and walking, and fine motor skills such as hand-eye coordination, grasping objects, drawing and later writing. Sensory development is also physical and includes sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. Intellectual and cognitive development centre on activity in the brain including use of language, smiling and giggling, imagination and working out. Our children’s emotional wellbeing also develops in the brain and comprises many areas such as self awareness, self esteem and the ability to interact with others. Playing in some form or another helps to refine these different areas of development in babies and young children.
Communication
Good communication makes for good and rewarding play, although in young children under two years this doesn’t necessarily mean having to speak with words. Facial expressions denoting surprise, pleasure, not knowing where something is and praise will all help your child find enjoyment in play. Talking to your toddler in simple language helps them learn to give their feelings expression. Use single words such as ‘Happy’, ‘Gone’, ‘Oh no’ right from the beginning.
How to help
Young children usually have short attention spans which adults can find frustrating. You can create a more beneficial atmosphere that encourages your little one to ‘stay with it’, by avoiding distractions such as the television or other people. If you lack confidence in how to play, start with a board book for a baby of around 6 months that you can look at together. Ask your son or daughter if they can see certain pictures and see if they can point to them. Your show them how, then let them try. Try covering things up with your hand to see if they can remember what’s there. As they get older you’ll notice how more perceptive they become. Simple games that have a clear cause and effect are good to being with.
As they grow
Psychologists agree that babies learn much through watching other babies and imitating their parents. Dr Coultas terms this ‘social pretend play’. She explains that from around 15 months a child is able to imitate, watch and comply with his mother’s suggestions, which means time to offer up plenty of ideas. Toddlers don’t actually play together properly until about 21 months when they being to learn independence. You should now take on the more passive role of spectator. Pretend tea parties are a favourite at about this age. At about 25-30 months your child will be able to develop a story with his friends. They love to mimic scenes from home, playgroup and television. From around three years of age children create pretend worlds together and enjoy embellishing them in greater detail as they get older. All this leads to the important social skill of the ‘theory of mind’, which simply means that they have now learnt that what they think isn’t always what others will think, and they are able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
Age appropriate toys and games
0-3 months: Wind chimes, unbreakable mirrors (babies tend to look right 80% of the time so make sure you put any objects in their line of vision), high contrasting mobiles, cloth books
3-6 months: Baby play gyms, rattles, squeaky rubber toys, colourful teethers, socks with bells
6-9 months: Textured books, soft blocks to knock down, activity boards, toys that pop up when your baby pushes the button, balls – throw the ball and encourage your baby to crawl after it
9-12 months: Walker, rocker, toy, telephone, shape sorter, books with flaps, bucket and spade for natural sand play – your baby will love the texture
12-18 months: Simple puzzles such as cut-out circles and squares, stacking, pull toys for confident walkers; climbing frame, washable non-toxic crayons, ride-on vehicle, toy buggy
18-24 months: Musical instruments such as keyboards, drum, plastic tea set, play house or den (throw a blanket on the old baby gym), shopping trolley, gardening tools, building blocks
24-36 months: Illustrated books, dressing-up clothes, child-size household equipment, construction toys, eg Lego, wooden puzzles, dolls to undress
36 months +: Basic jigsaw puzzles, memory games such as snap, child-size pots and pans, plasticine, bats and balls, golf sets, reference books
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This article was previously published in Baby and Toddler Gear, Nov/Dec 2005 and can be accessed at The National Literacy Trust
16 July 2002
Kids’ Stuff
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Parenting.
GUEST WRITER: Kimberly Lee
“In our pursuit to provide our kids with things that we did not have when we were young, let us not forget to give our kids what we once had when we were kids”, was part of the message from our last Sunday Service.
These words spoke volumes about the kind of things that I wish to impart to my kids. We have two pre-school kids – Allyn is 5 and Aidan is 3.5. I, for one had fond memories of my childhood. My daddy is a good artist; he draws and paints very well. We had 4 siblings in the family. When I was growing up we hardly had toys or new clothes. But we were never short of paint – oil, pastel, water-colour, charcoal, etc. My daddy taught us something that he knew best – how to draw and paint.
I remember how I used to draw a rat and painted it red. This would annoy my teacher. She would try to persuade and reason with me why my rat should be black. I would simply reply that, ” My daddy says I can use any colour that I like. It’s just an expression.” And I still hold true to what my dear father said, this time with my very own kids. One day, I found my daughter colouring her monkey green!!!
A lot of things that I do with my kids revolve around the environment & nature. I do teach them a certain amount of academics, but I try to keep these within the context of the themes that we are pursuing. Among the activities that keep us busy at home include:
1. Nature themes – insects, birds
We would catch the different insects that come into our home and study them – ‘lab within the home’. The kids will get to feed the insects with different kinds of food and determine what kind of food suits the insects best. Once we had a cricket and it made so much noise at night that daddy had to leave it outside the house. We then read up more on crickets and found that the noise produced by a cricket corresponds with its surrounding temperature. That night the kids took the cricket into their air-conditioned room and it was a restful night for everybody.
One of the most recent projects is growing vegetables. We have already managed to get some seeds and styrofoam boxes. And we are looking forward to putting the soil in.
2. Nature walks
We love learning about the names of flowers and trees. We make occasional mini-trips (usually 1 – 1.5 hrs) to the Botanical Gardens covering a different section of the garden at a time – rainforest trail, palm gardens, cactus garden, flower gardens, etc.
The highlight of our trips is the information stall at the Gardens. The kids would get an ice- cream each as we talk to members of the `Friends of the Botanical Society’ raising questions about things we have seen. We would often pick up an item (dry leave, flower or ticket stub) for the kids’ journals.
Aidan isn’t really writing yet; but a small memento such as these usually stays in his memory for a good long time.
3. Field trips
I was away for a 4-day seminar recently so my husband took the opportunity to bring our kids back to his ‘kampung’ in Seremban. He wanted to show them his own ‘childhood experiences.’ The kids went to a waterfall/brook where their daddy used to visit when he was a child. They also had a chance to visit an ostrich farm and a museum.
Back at home in Penang, the kids love to ride with daddy in his truck for short drives. Recently they went to a durian orchard. Since the beach is also fairly near our home, we often go for a stroll together as a family, or sometimes fly a kite.
4. Library/bookshops
The Children’s Library is a stone’s throw away from our home. Tuesday is our library day. We read in the library as well as borrow books to bring home. Sometimes we go to a bookshop that has an inviting and child-friendly kids’ section.
By and large we do a lot of reading together. This is probably one of the most inexpensive yet fun activities for the kids. Although I am quite flexible with our reading schedule, we have stipulated times set aside just for this purpose: 3.00- 4.30 pm (that’s mommy’s wind-down time!!). After reading to the kids (usually a book each), I will read my own stuff and take a snooze!!
Bedtime stories & prayer is another ritual which is religiously observed in our home. One night Allyn fell asleep without her regular story & prayer. She got up at 2 am, stormed into our room and demanded her story and prayer!
5. Swimming/cycling
Friday afternoons are swimming days. Our kids usually meet up with 1 or 2 other homeschooling families to swim in the pool at one of the homes. Other times we just cycle in the park, or to each other’s home.
6. Art/craft
The kids’ art & craft materials are organised in a plastic 4-tier mini chest of drawers. We also custom-made a Montessori table (with laminated top for easy cleaning) which seats 4 kids (or adults) comfortably. The kids usually access these art materials themselves and work independently at the table. This activity is definitely one of their favourites.
Very often I have to make use of this ‘activity’ to lead them into academics. E.g.: Yesterday, we did a craft on snails. As part of the vocabulary building exercise, the kids were introduced to all the different words related to snails – glide, shell, tentacles, slimy, etc. I also taught Allyn to decode these words phonetically as she heard them. She also made up a story based on the different snails she made. I wrote out the story for her leaving out words which were part of the decoding exercise that we worked on earlier. She filled in these missing words and sketched some pictures to illustrate the story. So there we have a story “Happy Snail & Sad Snail” composed & illustrated by Allyn (albeit, dictated to and written by Mom!), which makes her simply eager to read the story to her brother.
7. Songs/music
My husband and I are neither musicians nor singers. Fortunately there are these glorified appliances with sing-along tunes called CDs and videos. Our kids simply learn by just listening and singing along. Allyn sometimes amazes us by doing simple dance steps from the videos. Their favourite video is “Hi-5″ an Australian music production.
Our kids do not speak a lot of Chinese at home but they are able to sing a few Chinese scripture choruses after listening a few times to a tape. Another tape series that’s good for memory verses is Steve Green’s “Hide Them in Your Heart.”
I also pin up a 7-verses-a-week chart for the kids. Everyday they (Aidan, least of all) would read out a verse from the chart. Usually the chart will be up for at least a month. But I am more interested that our children understand the verses fully before we move on.
In short, we are busy all the time.
About the writer: Kimberly and her family lived in Penang at the time of writing.
16 July 2002
Life in the fast lane
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting; Values.
Life is rushing by at such a furious pace it’s too easy for families to be swept along unawares. I am referring to the way we swallow wholesale the arguments for globalisation, technology, and education enrichment programmes. We dignify some of these ideas with false claims about accelerated learning, and justify our anxieties by saying we merely want our kids to realise their ‘full potential.’
All too often, in our hurry to make their growing-up years special, we unwittingly conform to the ways of the world, and rob our children of the simple joys of childhood. What’s wrong with ‘normal’ then?
I think of my own carefree days as a young boy in Alor Star hunting down caterpillar and cicak in the garden. As a preschooler, my parents put me through a Chinese language kindergarten that strangely, left no lasting impressions. I remember however, sitting on the kindly principal’s lap, in tears, and nursing a bump on my head, deservedly perhaps, for standing in the way of a missile launched by a fellow student.
My father was a civil servant who knew nothing about overtime, but had the sense to take his family on day trips and picnics now and then. Didn’t read much to us too, though he blew the harmonica when the fancy struck. But we lived in a home with books, encyclopedias, magazines – TIME, LIFE, Finding Out – and sibling and friends who resisted any attempts to band together as the Five Find-Outers or Secret Seven. We didn’t travel, but I constructed my own worlds – SimCity, without computers! – maps of make-believe island cities with their own topography, climatic conditions, oceans, military and industries.
Today, the load of activities we impose upon our children is simply astounding – so they can come out of their shyness, improve their memory, or simply for the sake of ‘exposure.’ Music, dance, kumon, language, IT, reading competence, art, drama, karate, etc. Even if these kids don’t know what hit them, I know what all that makes me feel – deprived. How odd that when many of us started to homeschool,it was to provide an environment that encourage self-directed learning at a child’s own pace.
Which simply begs the question: who’s setting the pace now? It’s all very good fun (if you can afford it), and I’m certain our kids do have a great time all in, but what’s it all about?
David Elkind, Professor of Child Study and Senior Resident Scholar at Tufts University, calls it ‘miseducation.’ With reference particularly to preschoolers who are hurried to master skills way ahead of their age, Dr Elkind warns that when we start them on a regiment of academics, swimming, gymnastics, or ballet before they are ready, we are courting disaster:
“We put them at risk for short-term stress and long-term personality damage for no useful purpose. There is no evidence that such early instruction has lasting benefits, and considerable evidence that it can do lasting harm.”
He goes on to add that all this hurrying is really about us, never about our children. It’s all about getting a leg up over and above the competition isn’t it? Social pressure dressed up as holistic education.
Sadly, we forget Jesus’ words to his disciples when questions about greatness arose: “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” There is something wrong when we spend so much time and effort doing the reverse instead, manipulating and molding compliant children to change and become like us, miniature copies of grasping, fretful, insecure adults.
I am not saying that any of these great activities are bad in themselves. But we certainly need to stop being pushy, see that our children are indeed ready or interested, and that we’re not unconsciously compensating for our own adult needs. Speed kills. If our children are in danger of miseducation, it’s time to slow down and review life in the fast lane. For our children’s sake, and for ours.
By David BC Tan
July 16, 2002