Archive for the ‘Values’ Category
11 January 2014
THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO HOMESCHOOL
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Homeschool; Values.
ALL YOU NEED TO HOMESCHOOL IS LOVE
By David Tan
[I shall be sharing a series of posts on essentials for homeschool. Here’s the first.]
WHEN WE FIRST BEGAN HOMESCHOOLING our two boys, many parents asked my wife Sook Ching if there were requirements to teaching their own children at home. Did they need certain qualifications? Did they need a college degree to teach or have some teaching experience to begin with? What if a parent was not a good student herself back when she was younger? Is it alright to homeschool despite objections from a spouse (usually the children’s Dad)? Is there a special course to prepare parents to educate their own children at home? Wouldn’t a mother feel bored and trapped at home 24/7 if she homeschooled?
There are any number of concerns, most of which are commonly raised by all level-headed parents – usually the Mom (because she knows she’s going to be the main tutor and facilitator!). I think it’s fine to be asking these questions. I know the feeling: how exciting to break out of the school ‘prison’ paradigm; yet how frightening the thought that my kid’s future is in my hand. What if I threw in the towel midstream when the going got rough?
I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t think there are neat textbook answers for every situation anyway. We are different after all. Nevertheless, I believe the one thing that is essential for every parent is love for their children.
A couple of parents have shared that they “can’t stand children” but they are exploring homeschool anyway as an option to the present education system. Perhaps I am stating the obvious, but the truth is, you can’t teach your children if you don’t love them enough to bear with them! Not the kind of love that comes out in treacly sweet endearments every now and then, or spoils them rotten with an abundance of things. The love that I am referring to is the sort that is as deep and as it is wide.
Love is acknowledging a child’s worth and potential. It is believing in them and appreciating their aspirations as well as their fears. Loving a child is embracing her for who she is – including her foibles, weaknesses, and limitations. The loving parent is there to pick a child up when she falls and quick to celebrate when she does well. It is giving them the necessary space to grow as they are nurtured to become the person God intends them to be.
In the course of your homeschooling journey, there will be bumps in the road (I’ve not met a homeschooling family that has it easy!) Sometimes you will feel like tearing your hair out as a hundred voices echo, “I told you so, homeschool is not for you.” Oh, the joys of DIY education! Hopefully those moments will be few and far in between.
But you don’t give in or give up in despair precisely because you love your children – in the same way that spouses don’t give up on their relationship. We homeschooled because we believed there was more to life than what the establishment was trying to sell us; we were convinced there was a better way to raise a family and give our boys an education. More importantly, we educated our children ourselves because we loved them enough to spare them the effects of what we thought was a broken education system. You could say love overcame fear. So we kept at it through good and hard times, because we knew nothing good ever came easy.
You’ll agree with me that love is what makes any enterprise worthwhile. Now that we have come to the close of our own homeschooling journey, I believe love is also the one thing that makes homeschooling possible.
Have a great year!
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David & Sook Ching educated their 2 sons all the way at home until they were both 18 years old. Their oldest Ethan recently graduated summa cum laude with degrees in Political Science and English from Hardin Simmons University, Texas. Elliot their second son completed his foundation year in Mass Communications in KDU and is selecting a major (other than mass comm) when he goes back to Australia later this year.
17 April 2013
The end of education
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: One From The Archives; Values.
Scouring through the archives of past articles, I noticed this one. Seeing how Ethan himself is close to graduating from university, I must admit to a tinge of nostalgia plus a backward glance at how our own homeschooled kids may or may not have picked up values we taught and prayed they caught. First posted in April 2005, I hope it speaks to you and your effort at homeschooling.
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THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO LOOK AT EDUCATION since it encompasses processes (how we learn) and formal knowledge (what we learn), but what is it all for? The late Neil Postman in his book End of Education said the purpose of education is to provide moral guidance, a sense of continuity, explanations of the past, clarity to the present, and hope for the future. It’s certainly well put but as it is all too clear, more education does not a better world make.
To be fair Postman does give suggestions to actively connect thought and deed, knowledge and service, so that society gains from education. But to do that, he proposed we rescue schools from their deplorable state with a complete overhaul, which is as likely as a goose laying a golden egg.
The 9th century Persian mathematician Al-Khwarizmi who introduced Medieval Europe to arithmatic and algebra (from the Arabic al-jabru) called the latter ”the science of restoration and balancing.” I’d like to think it’s a definition that clues us in on what’s the point in any education – if I may be allowed to extrapolate from his thought.
Learning is more than acquiring knowledge or mastering a skill. To quote Dewey, it’s not preparation for life, because learning is life itself. And life expresses itself not just passively in our being, but also in our doing, which must include that which brings restoration and balance in a world tainted by the Fall.
Jesus who came not to be served but to serve went about teaching and doing good, so the Gospels tell us. In his letter to the Ephesians Paul said that the Church of God has been amply gifted with teachers,pastors, and prophets to equip His people for works of service . And to Timothy, Paul said that the Bible was given to equip God’s people for good work.
The impulse behind all learning is to know God and His work in creation and history. We glorify Him when our learning finds expression in service to others. It was the great reformer Martin Luther who once wrote that God does not need our good works, but other people do. Life-long learning for a life of service. Makes sense to me. Now can anyone help Ethan make sense of algebra?
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3 November 2009
Repairing the ruins
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Education; Values.
It is interesting to note that while there is much talk about education being a necessary preparation for the labour market, no one in his right mind would suggest it’s the primary purpose of all education.
Take a look at what I picked up online:
That last quote is a lot like what Socrates would say. Perhaps you might dismiss the dead philosopher as, erm, old school. But he would never approve of learning for knowledge’s sake, and certainly never as a means for material gain. Knowledge should be pursued because it teaches you how to live, promotes virtue and happiness, and leads to a moral life. Socrates’ disciple Plato learnt well; he echoed his master’s words by saying that the purpose of education was for beauty and goodness.
Regardless of how you feel about such noble aspirations, it doesn’t take long before someone comes along to burst your bubble. Get real, man. In this dog eat dog world, it’s every man for himself. Don’t you know the one with the most toys wins?
Don’t cynics just love saying this to your face?
Yet I find it intriguing that ethics and morality remain unquestionably the starting point for all education.
It’s not hard to see why R.C. Sproul Jr said in his thoughtful book ‘When You Rise Up’ that all ‘education is inherently religious‘. He quotes Robert Louis Dabney:
True education is, in one sense, a spiritual process. It is the nurture of the soul. Education is the nurture of a spirit that is rational and moral, in which conscience is the regulative and imperative faculty. The proper purpose of conscience, even in this world, is moral.
But God is the only Lord of the conscience; this soul is his miniature likeness. His will is the source of its obligations. Likeness to him is its perfection, and religion is the science of the soul’s relations to God. Let these statements be placed together, and the theological and educational processes appear so related they cannot be separated.
It is for this reason that the common sense of mankind has always invoked the guidance of the minister of religion in the education of youth……….Every line of true knowledge must find its completeness as it converges on God, just as every beam of daylight leads the eye to the sun.
In my previous post, I argued that the question of what you want your child to be comes before your education choice, whether homeschool or conventional school. Figure this out, and then decide what’s the best route to get there. Sproul also quotes the poet Milton who wrote: “The end of learning is to repair the ruins of our first parents by regaining to know God aright, and out of that knowledge, to love Him, to imitate Him, to be like Him.”
I happen to be in Milton’s corner here. I like the way he has articulated well a model for education that works for my family. And so we have embraced homeschool because we believe it offers our children the best opportunity to nurture soul and spirit holistically. By doing so, we believe they are better placed to love God, to imitate Him, and make a positive difference in our world.
What about you? What’s the reason for your education choice?
7 May 2009
Reasons to homeschool
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Education; Values.
Homeschool isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but there are so many good reasons to educate your child at home. I recently came across a site that carried a post titled, 100 Reasons to Homeschool. What started as a list back in 2007/08 continues to grow.
What’s interesting for me was discovering that a lot of reasons to homeschool went beyond academic achievements, keeping up with the Joneses. I can relate to that. Now there’s the other component that’s often missed – the development of values and character in one’s child, the joy of being there to see him learn, and simply enjoying a child’s growing up years. Sure, every parent wants their children to succeed academically, but academic success alone does not a complete person make.
It was Roosevelt who said, “To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” Values and character development may be taught, but mostly they are caught. Homeschool provides a safe place for parents to model values and intentionally make this the center of our education enterprise.
Back to the list. Here are some reasons that struck a chord with me. I’m using the numbering as they originally appear on the post:
1. You do not have to live up to the expectations of others.
4. Plenty of time to follow their passions.
6. I can be my kid’s biggest influence, not peers or teachers that may have different values than our family.
7. Homeschooled children are able to think, explore and discuss topics in ways not possible in a classroom setting.
10. Break up the day any way you desire and make it fit the attention soan of your child.
12. If you have a little boy who needs to jump up and down on a couch while he is doing math, he can do so.
13. Far fewer worldly/negative influences penetrate your children at an early age when homeschooling.
14. Avoid your child being given educational labels.
15. Your child’s achievements, advancements or academic pursuits need not be limited by age or grade.
30. We don’t have to wake up super early to be somewhere by a certain time everyday!
31. You can teach to each child’s learning style, thereby encouraging their strengths and improving their weaknesses.
33. You teach them how to learn and how to study, not just how to get through the next test. And, unlike the ps (public school) which teach this in a one-semester course called “Study Skills”, you teach it all year round…..giving them lots of practice.
34. Field trips, field trips, and MORE FIELD TRIPS!!
35. Real world experience, going to the grocery stores and bank constitute a math lesson, gazing at stars on a beautiful summer night and seeing bats inhabit our bat house is science. The list is endless!
50. The best for me… seeing the proverbial Light Bulb going off while teaching long division for a week in a row and my ds (dear son) saying Oh I get it now….and knowing I did that…I gave him that lightbulb moment.
104. Having children that are proud of who they are, and are comfortable in their own skin, so are true to themselves as a person.
106. They learn early on that only they are responsible for their education, actions, behaviour, and reactions. It’s up to them to choose the path they wish to follow, but they know that they have a hand to hold if they need it and a willing ear and heart for support and listening. They know they are never alone in any of the journeys.
Go ahead and check out the list here at the BabyCenter Community. And read the comments too (although the latest ones have veered into other issues). If you have more reasons to homeschool, you can add your own here.
21 February 2005
Homework and Homeschool
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Education; Values.
An old photo of our two boys appeared in the Sunday Star recently. Taken 5 years ago when we were interviewed for an article on homeschooling, it’s now used to illustrate a story about the tyranny of homework. “Can we ask the papers to pay us for using our photo without permission?” asked Elliot. With a headline that screamed, Burden on Parent and Child, the article reported stress and anxiety among parents and school students brought about by excessive homework.
The irony isn’t lost on us because we homeschool to get out of the very system that’s being discussed here. A homeschooler once quipped that parents of children in conventional schools must believe in homeschooling – after all they spend so much time coaching and helping their kids with their school assignments at home. Of course mundane homework reportedly including “copying questions AND answers from workbooks”, rewriting ‘nicely’ a teacher’s notes” do not add to the pleasure.
In the report, one mother claims that she spends 3 hours after dinner every night going through her daughters’ schoolwork. And that’s not all of course. Students these days have to contend with tuition, which comes with homework as well. A father whose 7-year old son is registered for tuition in ALL subjects told me that although it appears stressful, his son is actually more motivated – he works harder on his tuition homework than the ones he brings home from school. So who’s to say homework is a burden?
The contentious subject about homework surfaced recently with the publication of an international survey by Australian psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg last July. In the report Malaysian students were found to spend an average of 3.8 hours a day on homework compared to Singapore (3.5), Russia (3.1), Australia and Canada (2.2) and Japan (1.7).
In a typical reaction, the Education Ministry pooh-poohed the survey then as ‘irrelevant’ but has since seen the light. Minister of Education Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein announced a set of guidelines to regulate homework, so that it would be “fun for students, focus on specific work and serve as learning aids.”
Dr Etta Kralovec, teacher and teacher-educator wrote in her groundbreaking book “The End of Homework” that homework does not necessarily make for brighter students. Instead homework can have a negative effect on children, families and communities. Subtly but surely, child-family time so necessary to build relationship is disrupted, time for leisure, music lessons, reading, or hobbies is curtailed, down time for relaxation and play is discouraged, and involvement in other learning activities (such as church, special interest groups, community clubs, etc) is sidestepped. Worse still, inability to complete schoolwork on time or to a teacher’s expectation may deepen frustration and lead to loss of love for learning and a desire to drop out of school altogether.
So does that mean schools ought to scrap homework entirely? I don’t know. Right now debate is raging over the form that homework takes. Yet not enough is said about how children learn, much less the contents in schoolbooks that ought to captivate, and encourage thinking and learning.
Certainly homeschoolers face a different kind of tension. Because homeschool derives its pedagogical benefits from a broader canvass encompassing formal and informal learning, all work is in fact homework. Sometimes parents confuse ends with means – the number of hours at the table, the number of books read, question of assessment and testing – and like other parents worry if their children are getting enough learning!
While education normally includes the mastery of facts, homeschoolers should aim higher. Win the National Spelling Bee. Be a champion orator. Go ahead, win awards. Be all your kids can be. But also work on attitudes such as self-sacrifice, readiness to serve, endurance, self-motivation, humility, adaptability, willingness to try new challenges, hard work, and a heart that’s tender to the things of God.
Above all, families should review their goals frequently so that whatever the aims, children should not forget their Creator in the days of their youth, and learn to “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Eccl 12:13). If these are lessons for a lifetime, the time to start is now.
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16 July 2002
Life in the fast lane
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting; Values.
Life is rushing by at such a furious pace it’s too easy for families to be swept along unawares. I am referring to the way we swallow wholesale the arguments for globalisation, technology, and education enrichment programmes. We dignify some of these ideas with false claims about accelerated learning, and justify our anxieties by saying we merely want our kids to realise their ‘full potential.’
All too often, in our hurry to make their growing-up years special, we unwittingly conform to the ways of the world, and rob our children of the simple joys of childhood. What’s wrong with ‘normal’ then?
I think of my own carefree days as a young boy in Alor Star hunting down caterpillar and cicak in the garden. As a preschooler, my parents put me through a Chinese language kindergarten that strangely, left no lasting impressions. I remember however, sitting on the kindly principal’s lap, in tears, and nursing a bump on my head, deservedly perhaps, for standing in the way of a missile launched by a fellow student.
My father was a civil servant who knew nothing about overtime, but had the sense to take his family on day trips and picnics now and then. Didn’t read much to us too, though he blew the harmonica when the fancy struck. But we lived in a home with books, encyclopedias, magazines – TIME, LIFE, Finding Out – and sibling and friends who resisted any attempts to band together as the Five Find-Outers or Secret Seven. We didn’t travel, but I constructed my own worlds – SimCity, without computers! – maps of make-believe island cities with their own topography, climatic conditions, oceans, military and industries.
Today, the load of activities we impose upon our children is simply astounding – so they can come out of their shyness, improve their memory, or simply for the sake of ‘exposure.’ Music, dance, kumon, language, IT, reading competence, art, drama, karate, etc. Even if these kids don’t know what hit them, I know what all that makes me feel – deprived. How odd that when many of us started to homeschool,it was to provide an environment that encourage self-directed learning at a child’s own pace.
Which simply begs the question: who’s setting the pace now? It’s all very good fun (if you can afford it), and I’m certain our kids do have a great time all in, but what’s it all about?
David Elkind, Professor of Child Study and Senior Resident Scholar at Tufts University, calls it ‘miseducation.’ With reference particularly to preschoolers who are hurried to master skills way ahead of their age, Dr Elkind warns that when we start them on a regiment of academics, swimming, gymnastics, or ballet before they are ready, we are courting disaster:
“We put them at risk for short-term stress and long-term personality damage for no useful purpose. There is no evidence that such early instruction has lasting benefits, and considerable evidence that it can do lasting harm.”
He goes on to add that all this hurrying is really about us, never about our children. It’s all about getting a leg up over and above the competition isn’t it? Social pressure dressed up as holistic education.
Sadly, we forget Jesus’ words to his disciples when questions about greatness arose: “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” There is something wrong when we spend so much time and effort doing the reverse instead, manipulating and molding compliant children to change and become like us, miniature copies of grasping, fretful, insecure adults.
I am not saying that any of these great activities are bad in themselves. But we certainly need to stop being pushy, see that our children are indeed ready or interested, and that we’re not unconsciously compensating for our own adult needs. Speed kills. If our children are in danger of miseducation, it’s time to slow down and review life in the fast lane. For our children’s sake, and for ours.
By David BC Tan
July 16, 2002
5 April 2001
Rebel Parents
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Parenting; Values.
How many times have you heard parents ask, “Where do you find the patience to teach your own children?” It is a question that usually arises after an admission by these same parents that they could never homeschool since they lack the necessary patience quotient. Some people have it, others don’t. Period. How do you manage staying in with these kids all day, anyway? Off to a learning center then, my darlings.
Parenting flows from the heart
Once a well-known columnist in a local paper wrote to me that parenting is something that flows from the heart; unless one loved children, parenting would be a horrible burden. How ‘lucky’ our kids to have parents who are not denying them their childhood. Her words echo those of a Christian leader who advised against being dogmatic about career mothers, since there are indeed women who just couldn’t cope otherwise. As observations go, you can’t fault that I suppose.
Not being a prickly pedant myself (besides being a man), I’ll say to each her own. After all what merit is there in a stay-in mother (or father) who’s either indulgent or indifferent, or worst, who’s both? Perhaps I’m trying too hard to be inclusive, but didn’t Paul say that while one man eats everything and another only vegetables, our heavenly Father accepts them both?
A few years ago at a talk on alternative education, a father came up to me and asked if homeschooling could reform his teenager. A hulking 14-year old and perpetual truant, he had defied instruction, discipline and authority at home and school. I didn’t know what to say except to caution that homeschool doesn’t do anything unless a child respects his parent’s authority first. That means working on discipline before academics.
Compare that with a mother whose 14-year old is presently enrolled in a learning center. She had been doing poorly in conventional schools leaving the flustered Mom to turn to a center that promised low teacher-student ratio and a more interesting English-based curriculum. Now, the daughter’s not doing so good there too. Mom doesn’t have the time, and confessed that she didn’t have the patience either to relate with her. So could we arrange for her daughter to interact with other homeschooling teens so she could pick up better habits?
I wish there was a magic wand to miraculously turn the hearts of children to their parents. You know, wave it, intone the magic words “h-o-m-e-s-c-h-o-o-l,” and viola! you’re on the cover of “Teaching Home.” Oh, did I use the wrong words? How about, “l-e-a-r-n-i-n-g c-e-n-t-r-e” ?
Personal investments for a happy home
The age of instant noodles and high-speed bandwidth connections has apparently given rise to the notion that parenting is a formula or system one can purchase off the shelf. Don’t have the right stuff? Get one that fits, pay someone to do it and praise God for small mercies. Sorry. As they say, no pain, no gain. The natural response may be to balk at the personal investment required to raise kids, but Scripture doesn’t soft-peddle God’s injunctions for happy homes.
Children come packaged and labeled with a divine RDA: 100% Love, 100% Patience, 100% Attention. Okay, I may be pushing the analogy a wee bit, but you get my drift: some things are non-negotiable. Parents have to obey His word, make the time, live exemplary lives, align our desires and ambitions with God’s will for our families. Deuteronomy 6 describes a parent’s job as a moment-by-moment responsibility, while in Ephesians 6, fathers are called not to exasperate their children but to instruct them in the Lord. There is no shortcut key. Imagine husband who desires a happy marriage but admits he doesn’t have time for his wife or the patience to make it work! It doesn’t get easier with children, homeschooling or not.
So Mom stays home and rules the roost as homemaker, homeschool teacher and all. But an absentee father, busy with work, church, or golf with neither inclination nor interest in his children’s affairs isn’t doing his family any favour. Recently we were shown a birthday card designed by a child for his father. Beautifully done on the computer with quotations and cartoons, it was a touching tribute from a son to a golf-loving Dad who by all accounts was a devoted parent and loving provider. Turning to the last page however I read, “Even if you don’t spend time with me, even though you’re too busy to remember my birthday, I still think you’re the best daddy in the world!” I put the card down, momentarily jarred by the irony of it all, thinking to myself how children are so wonderfully accepting.
Parents as rebels
Neil Postman in his new book Building A Bridge To The 18th Century writes that parenting is an act of rebellion. By that he means that parents must choose to go against the grain of our age. If we care for the lives of our children, we must rebel against these callous times, in much the same way husbands and wives pledge faithfulness in our throwaway culture, in opposition to a lifestyle of instant gratification. Why God doesn’t simply zap us into shape, make us great parents, turn toady kids into handsome princes and beautiful princesses (with a hasty S.O.S prayer) is anybody’s guess.
That an astute social critic should be so emphatic about the responsibility of parents embarrasses Christians who possess God’s word but dodge its demands. Perhaps the teaching of easy triumphalism has lulled us into forgetting that Jesus’ path to glory took him down the road to Calvary first. Homeschool is no genie-in-a-bottle promising compliant sons and daughters; education is not a set curriculum or teaching methodology. The way to healthy, godly children starts with a relationship, beginning with our own with God, and then with our young.
As we approach Palm Sunday, let our hosannas ring with humble appreciation for the price our heavenly Father paid to restore fellowship with us, His prodigal sons and daughters. Now, there’s an example too big to miss. We’re on a journey of a lifetime; the is not always clear, but the sun never fails to break through. Breezes blow, invigorating and hopeful. How good it is to have the Lord with us.
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7 March 2001
Timely Tips for Homeschoolers
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Values.
Guest Writer: Celine Leslie
Although many miles separate us, I feel a oneness in my heart with you, the home-educators of Malaysia and Singapore. Some of you know that our precious little boy, Kyle, went to be with the Lord in November 2000, but we are still left with 3 equally precious gifts whom we continue to home-educate. Actually, they are more than gifts, they are our heritage (Ps 127:4). Gifts may be temporary, but a heritage lasts forever.
Friends, we may not see the results of our sweat and tears in the near future, but rest assured that the seeds that we sow into their lives will bear fruit for eternity. Unlike athletes that train in order to attain short term glory, we make ourselves fit for a task that has far-reaching effects – that of laying the foundation for the future generations.
Not being a structured person by nature, organisational skills are not part of my forte and I have had to work at learning how to be more efficient. Many mothers have lamented that were it not for their lack of such skills, they would consider the option of homeschooling. Homeschooling certainly has a way of forcing us to be more efficient in our use of time and resources. May I encourage you, wherever you are at, to work at this – don’t compare yourself to anyone else, but work at making small steps of improvement.
Here are some tips on the use of time.
Prioritise: We are to be accountable to the Lord for our use of time, so we need to be careful about prioritising. It would help to see where we are at by recording what we do for a week. Use the categories of Sleep, Eat, Work (incl housework, preparing schoolwork), Spiritual Activities (visiting, preparing sunday school, etc.), Church Attendance, Personal Devotion/prayer, Entertainment and Leisure (with children/spouse). Maybe driving should be a category by itself, judging from the traffic in KL!
Economise: We can learn to economise our use of time, by cutting down on time-wasters. Eg. can we make less shopping trips and make sure that we do as much as possible everytime we have to go out in the car? Be brutal with the use of the phone (unhook it in the morning). Instead of watching the TV, read a good book with the children (it will feed their minds much more than the contents in the so-called textbooks).
Maximise: Kill two birds with one stone whenever possible. Talk to the children when you are driving. Learn the times tables in the car. When you are cooking, get the children to help, even if it takes longer. In the long run, they will learn to love cooking and help save you time! If you are having trouble finding time for individual devotional time with each child, do it when you are putting them to bed. Have a memory verse to go through each week and do it with them at that time. Pick themes for your verses, according to their needs, eg. forgiveness, overcoming fear, being kind, etc.
Organise: Insist that all the family write down appointments on the family calendar as soon as anything is confirmed. That way you won’t forget upcoming events. Do your exercises as part of daily activities, eg. when the children have their play time, you can do your jumping on a little trampoline, or have family walks every evening, or when everyone is watching the news, do your stretching then. I do ankle exercises when I’m brushing my teeth! The important thing is to plan the time, then apply yourself to do it. There are many daily and weekly planners available – find one that suits you. It only takes 4 weeks to form a new habit, so with the Lord’s help, changes are possible.
Have you any tips that have helped your family? Maybe you’d like to share them too. I would personally love to hear about what works for other families and my ears are forever trying to pick up new ideas.
About the Writer: Malaysian-born Celine and her family reside and homeschool in Adelaide.
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10 July 2000
What really counts ultimately
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Guest Writer; Values.
GUEST WRITER: EVELYN SEOW
I don’t believe it! My first-born is graduating from homeschool after all these years of walking by faith. For years, I was concerned whether I was teaching her enough and if she was up to standard. The piles of reference books, tapes, videos, curricula, tests, fears & tears are now but a memory. And of course there were those agonizing days when I fell on my knees and prayed, “Dear Lord please show me how to guide & teach my children correctly. Reveal to me the best educational methods, curriculum, and books. HELP!”
It’s year 2000 now, and I wonder why my confidence in homeschooling was so shaky. As Prisca is packing to leave for the US, tears are just welling in my eyes. Oh how I wish I had more time with her. It seemed like yesterday when I cradled her in my arms and prayed that she would grow up to be a mighty woman of God and a nation changer, touching multitudes with her life.
The time has come to release her, and God is reminding me that her life belongs to Him. He has opened wide the door for her to go to Oral Roberts University in the United States and has blessed her with more scholarships than we could ever imagine. Although I no longer worry or doubt if it is God’s will for her to go in this direction, I constantly wonder whether I have prepared her well enough. At least I know I did give her my very best!
Well, I want to share from my heart what I have learnt through my homeschooling journey. First of all, we need to understand that God has placed specific gifts in our children. We just need to discover their talents and develop them for His kingdom. Encourage them to excel in them, even though they may not seem very promising. The more we go against the way God has made our children, the more we place unnecessary burdens upon ourselves. Worse still, we discourage our kids and indirectly hinder them from reaching their full potential.
I must admit I was guilty of stifling one of Prisca’s God-given talents. When she was in Grade 5, I was really worried about her unusual way of journaling. Instead of writing, she would draw cartoon strips in them. They were cute and funny, but after consulting with several Education professors, I resolved to put a stop to her childish work and demanded that she communicated her thoughts in writing. Wasn’t I harsh? Seven years later, I realise how I missed my opportunity to capitalise on that talent. When she applied for her academic scholarship, she was required to submit a project. You guessed it: her project was a complete book of cartoons! The scholarship board especially loved the cartoons and awarded her the Regent Scholarship and a couple others as well.
Below are several pointers which I hope will be beneficial to you in your own homeschool journey.
1) Love:
Use every opportunity to show love to your children, both physically and emotionally. We often forget that they won’t be under our parental care for long. If it were possible, I would want to go back to the many occasions when I should have hugged Prisca. I used to think that she had outgrown demonstrations of physical affection and was too matured to be cuddled. Not true!
2) Discipline:
Discipline your children out of love and never out of anger. I know that it is all too easy to get worked up and frustrated, but this can be avoided if we see beyond the natural and look at the big picture of our children’s lives. Many a time we try to mould our children into what we want them to be. Instead, we ought to understand theirunique personalities, temperaments, learning styles, and special talents.
3) Discipleship:
The main reason why we homeschooled was because we wanted to disciple and mentor our girls on a daily basis. We currently apportion an hour and a half of our morning for Bible study and family devotions. We do not use any Bible study materials – we merely read straight from the Word and expound on it. We also spend ten minutes journaling what God has spoken to us. This has not only sharpened the girls’ writing and thinking skills, but it has also caused them to grow spiritually. You’ll be amazed at the profound insights your children can come up with when they are made to write.
In addition, my girls have to memorise the Psalms and recite them verbatim to me. We have almost finished the entire book. If only we had been more diligent, we might have finished memorising the entire New Testament. You might want to try that!
4) Academics:
There are so many curricula on the market nowadays. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and confused. Every curriculum claims to be the best and you feel like you’re lost at sea. I faced that problem too. Prisca was the “curriculum” guinea pig in our family. Well, we all do make mistakes. The important thing is to find what works for your child and then stick to it. Your friends will offer various advice, but don’t get swayed! Do remember to keep all career options open as most children are too young to know what they really want to do.
5) Keeping Records:
If you are considering the option of sending your child to university, it is essential to keep records of basically everything. Most US universities require the minimum of Grade 9-12 transcripts, but they also look out for other extracurricular records and certificates in your portfolio, especially if you are a homeschooler. When Prisca applied for her scholarship, she realised how invaluable all the photos of her activities, travels, mission trips and ministry work were. She was also very thankful that she had kept her records properly and dated and filed her work in a systematic way.
Though, homeschooling is challenging, it has also been fulfilling. Despite all my shortcomings, God remained faithful. A few weeks ago, I got my daughters to share a little something as an introduction to my Sunday sermon. After the service, a youth came up to me and said, “Aunty Evelyn, we don’t laugh at homeschooling any more. In the past, we all did.” Sounds familiar?
About the writer: Ex-Malaysians Evelyn and her husband Roland are pioneer pastors of a church in Melbourne, Australia.
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