19 January 2010
Start with love
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Homeschool Profile .
10-year old Ali is one lucky kid! He’s being taught at home by parents Harith Idris and Intan Shamsuddin who are one of the most dedicated homeschooling couples we’ve met. They’ve hosted and participated in homeschooling dialogues, arranged for cartoonist Dato Lat to visit a homeschoolers’ outdoor camp, and are great resource persons for unschoolers. Thoughtful and always cheerful, work from home (part-time) mom Intan has no qualms sharing with us the joy of educating her only son at home.
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Every homeschooling family has a story. What’s yours?
Ali was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 2. But that didn’t stop this numbskull of a mother (the poor boy!) from shopping for a kindy when ‘the time’ came. We spent the whole day going from one kindy to another and in the end decided to settle for one, enrolled, and paid the fees. As a good mummy would, this one stayed to watch from outside the class. I was horrified at how the teacher quickly instilled fear in the kids to obey her every word and completely ignored a boy who started pinching Ali. Without further ado, I pulled him out of class and insisted on my refund. Came straight home and thought hard (about 10 minutes or so), and ceremoniously announced to my hubby Harith: “I can’t stomach him going to school. We’ll just homeschool Ali”.
Just like that! How did your husband take it? Weren’t there objections from him or other family members?
Of course hubby just smiled and said, “Why not? I’m all for it!” And so began our homeschooling journey.
Objections from family? None at all! Harith and I have always been the ‘black sheep’ of our respective family, so doing something out of the norm was, well, more or less expected of us….and we were not about to let them down. We ARE so blessed 
Did you know what you were getting into when you decided to homeschool?
In the beginning it felt very scary with so many uncertainties. We were in uncharted waters here. One way we got around this was to read as much as we could on homeschooling……. books, internet articles. When I found out there ARE other homeschooling families in Malaysia, it was rather reassuring. As time went by, I knew for certain there’s no turning back. Homeschooling felt right, there’s just no other way, at least for us!
Tell us what’s your homeschool like – the things you do, the way you spend your time. What’s your role, and how does Harith fit into the picture?
This mummy tackles more or less the ‘academic’ stuff and daddy’s the one who takes him out to the playground and field trips. We began by teaching Ali how to read, using the phonics method. Somehow we managed to complete the program in just over a week! After that it was trip after trip to the book stores. And that’s the way it has been – English, (Japanese manga thrown in, plus a healthy treat of comics here and there), Science, and whatever subject, come what may, we just throw ourselves into it. Wonderful!
Arts and crafts also play an important role in Ali’s learning. Water colour is his favourite medium….endless paintings! If it isn’t a specific subject he’s painting, he would be experimenting by mixing colours until this mummy runs out of words to describe his colour mixes.
There’s no curriculum then?
No, we definitely don’t use any curriculum. For instance, with Math, we started with basic counting – not just on paper, but with everyday stuff that’s around us. Grocery shopping is good for math too! When the time came to learn multiplication (don’t ask me how I handled that), he mastered the 1 to 12 times table in a week! He’s now learning algebra, but with long hiatuses every now and then! Oh, and just recently, he has expressed interest in Chemistry. Yikes! We’re talking about a mummy who’s always been terrified of Chemistry, and now I’ll get to learn it all over again. What fun?!
I mean, why confine Math, Vocabulary, Spelling, etc, to the study table only? We’re always learning – while taking a bath or shower, rolling around in bed after reading a story book, etc. Of course, doing Science would mean experiments galore (and ultimately a messy home), but we’re easy with that.
But your son Ali is autistic. Doesn’t it make homeschool more challenging?
Friends and acquaintances were rather perplexed when they learn Ali was being homeschooled. There’s nothing wrong with your son, they would say. Homeschooling must be right then, I replied! Being able to learn at their own pace, surrounded by people who love and do not judge them, in surroundings where they feel safe and secure, help autistic children tremendously. That goes for ‘normal’ ones too!
Because autistic children get easily disturbed in unfamiliar and noisy surroundings, we did our best to avoid going to such places especially during the early years. Ali’s doing a lot better in recent years, primarily because he grew up in calm surroundings. Homeschooling allowed us to shield him and it had a relatively calming effect on him. I doubt this can be achieved in conventional schooling.
Indeed, I can’t imagine any school that could have offered Ali the kind of attention he’s getting.
More than that, homeschooling has allowed us to be intimately acquainted with Ali. He’s absolutely amazing and humorous. I love to hear him talk and recap whatever he’s read or watched. Some parents are quite baffled how we could spend so much time together without feeling stifled. I’ll say we are baffled how some parents can spend a good chunk of their day away from their children, come home and then tell their kids, ‘‘Sorry darlings, mummy just got back from a meeting and I am exhausted. Go do something to amuse yourself!”
What values have you sought to inculcate in the home as you raise and teach Ali?
As the years pass by, we have come to realize this: homeschooling is spiritual. Whatever it is about religion that is dished out by people ‘in the know’ have always been dry and meaningless. We have to start putting back the missing ingredients in lifeless religious rituals, and that’s what we’re all about.
What would you say to parents who want to homeschool?
I’ll tell them, you must start with the right intention, and continue to purify your intention as you go on the homeschooling journey. Start with LOVE – you can never go wrong with that. Homeschooling will also reveal ugly weaknesses in you. Just acknowledge them, embrace them. You will surely overcome them in time. Then everyone in the family will come out as winners- guaranteed! Cheers to homeschooling!
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5 Comments so far...
Ridz Says:
19 January 2010 at 12:02 pm.
Would love to let Ali meet our Muhammad and Musa. They’d get along well.
Shalom Says:
19 January 2010 at 5:38 pm.
For a couple of years I baffled with a short sweet answer to what homeschooling is about. When I started homeschooling a year ago I had my answer : It is an extension of our spiritual awakening.
If parents are going to homeschool for any other reason than their own acceptance of their need to evolve spiritually it’s going to be “all tears and pain.” Some parents thought about homeschooling to “accelerate” their children, asking me for its tangible benefits compared vis-a-vis school. Some do it out of a fear that schooling is inadequate. Though optimum learning and being better equipped for this future Beyond 2020 is a side benefit, the catalyst to why we’re homeschooling is because our spiritual awakening can not be separate from our love and acceptance of ourself and the essence of all that is Love.
Nurliza Says:
12 March 2010 at 11:11 pm.
Hi…great to hear u homeschooled yr son.I hv been thinking bout it before..but not sure how to start…at d moment am facing lots of difficulties with the school system.Appreciate if we can meet and chat..where r u staying?My son is a 9yr old Down Syndrome.
Intan Shamsuddin Says:
15 March 2010 at 3:42 pm.
Thank you all for your kind comments. We live in Ipoh and if you would like to get in touch with us, please feel free to drop us a message at intan_shamsuddin@yahoo.com To ‘Shalom’, that was a beautiful message, thank you. To ‘Ridz’, how old are your boys and are they homeschooled too? To Nurliza, do get in touch and we’ll take it from there. Take care.
Homefrontier » According to his ability Says:
31 March 2010 at 2:42 am.
[...] Start with love Character is tops in this homeschool Living, loving, learning, unschooling The Soons take it free and easy Ice-skating homeschoolers [...]