25 November 2009
Living, learning, loving, unschooling
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Homeschool Profile .
Visit the home of Edward and Selina Lim and you know you’ve dropped in on an unusual family. Married for 12 years, the couple have 3 daughters (between 11 and 6 years), and a 16-month old son. Both are are also pastors of a church in Penang. Edward has been in full-time ministry for about 15 years while Selina was a state registered nurse before she received her full-time calling into ministry. Edward also runs Contact Sports Enterprise, a sports events management company. He is just as involved in promoting Floorball and coaches both the state and national team. On top of it all, they’re homeschooling. Here’s what Selina has to say about their homeschooling adventure:
So when did you start homeschooling?
Ever since we became parents we’ve homeschooled and it’s a part of our life – we’ve never lived any other way! Our eldest is 11 years, so that makes 11 years of homeschooling in all.
What made you both decide to homeschool? Who thought of it first?
The decision was actually made during our courtship. Even then we discussed how to raise our children, and I remember we said we wanted them to enjoy the learning process and not be caught in an exam-oriented culture and the rigidity of a regular school system. We wanted to nurture them according to their natural bend which we knew conventional schools couldn’t provide.
We knew we would need flexibility for the family anyway, in view of our church ministry. So before we became parents we sought God intently for confirmation, and our desire to beat the school system became a conviction when we were expecting our firstborn.
Tell us about your homeschool – the curriculum you use, the way you spend your time, etc. With your busy schedule, what’s a typical day like?
Throughout the years we tried different approaches but we found ourselves leaning towards unschooling as it suits us best. We may not be 100% unschoolers but we do keep to Charlotte Mason’s motto of living, learning and loving.
Typical day? Different seasons have different days! Generally, our children begin their day with their own quiet time with God. This slot can sometimes take very long as their prayers often turn into occasions for poems, stories and songs. They call it “creative dreaming in progress”. We have some workbooks for languages and Math but do not rely on them completely. We have a pretty good home library so we don’t need to depend on the public library. However, we do make a point to visit the public library as regularly as we can.
A big chunk of the day is spent reading, making dance pieces, writing stories, playing, talking as a family, and learning from our natural surrounding. We enjoy unit studies too. If something in a book, a recent experience or an issue captures our interest, we will pick it up and do a unit study. Depending on our girls’ level of interest, the topic can occupy us for a week or many months.
Most of all, they find every possible opportunity to play – whether it is a household chore, mealtime, babysitting, even their educational project. Play is work. Work is play. If you ask them, they will tell you: “Everyday is a holiday and everyday is a school day.” So, everything we do at home is intertwined. Household chores are done together with a gotong-royong spirit. No charts. We do almost everything together (or at least with one parent). We minister together. The children are part of our ministry – our prayer team, our helpers, and our dance team. They go with us whenever and wherever we go for ministry (except hospital visitations).
I see flexibility, but where does discipline come in? Don’t you need to have a lot of discipline to make unschooling work?
Indeed, our girls delight in the flexibility of time, space, and freedom to explore and experiment within the boundaries of our faith and values. But along the way they have learnt discipline. They are independent and industrious, and know how to take responsibility for their own learning. Every day offers ample learning opportunities. As i see it, learning is really an ongoing process and all I do is ensure our home provides the children with liberty and every opportunity to exercise their creativity, even to make a mess. It has certainly given them real meaning in learning and they view life more holistically. As they’re with us during formal and informal meetings, I notice they have become very adaptable and interact well with people of all ages.
You seem to spend a lot of time together as a family. What else do your girls do?
The girls are very involved in dance (ballet and contemporary) and they perform in community events, concerts, weddings, as well as in church. They have choreographed their own dance pieces ever since they were 6 and 7. They also enjoy rollerblading and skating, playing the guitar, sewing, knitting, arts and craft and cooking (especially creating our own recipes).
As a family, we’re into adventure – outdoor activities, wall climbing, biking. Since Edward runs adventure camps and sports events, the girls get involved as much as they can. Naturally, they are part of the Junior Floorball team too. Then when we went horseback riding in Australia, they came back crazy over horses – would love to pursue horseback-riding, but it is just too expensive for us here. They swim as well. Oh yes, we love to snuggle up for a good show during family movie night followed by Edward’s debriefing.
That’s really an active family you have. Doesn’t unschooling make more demands on you as a parent, then?
It is hard to say, since this is the only life we know. In many ways we think it’s easier, simply because of its practicality. The children are always with us; therefore, we can be as mobile as we need to be, which is an advantage in our vocation. Besides, since we are close to one another, bringing up our children and disciplining them is more effective. It is easier to instill our beliefs and values. We are definitely more aware of our responsibility as well as the seriousness of educating and nurturing our children, as opposed to letting others do the job that is rightfully ours as parents.
What special challenges (if any) do you face as a homeschooling family? In what way do these challenges affect your children’s homeschooling?
The usual challenge is the lack of support from relatives and friends who think we are depriving our children. It doesn’t really affect our convictions as we have come to embrace homeschooling fully as our lifestyle. Unfortunately, as our children grow up, they tend to be at the receiving end instead. The girls do love homeschooling but often find many people’s comments and questions unbearable. Nevertheless, all this negativity has deepened our children’s own convictions.
Sport is another challenge. As homeschoolers, our girls were not allowed to participate in competition in rhythmic gymnastics (run by the State Sports Academy). Although our girls loved the sport very much and excelled in it, they refused to trade homeschooling to advance in the sport as suggested by their head coach. They did it for recreation instead and eventually stopped due to the lack of skilled coaches.
Finally, the challenge of proficiency in Bahasa Malaysia. Unfortunately, this is one language they are not particularly keen in although I love the national language myself. Since English is widely spoken in Penang where we live, I constantly seek opportunities to make Bahasa fun and practical for the children although this is not always easy. Sometimes the children try conversing in the language when ordering food or shopping, but people always respond in English or Hokkien!
What values have you consciously sought to inculcate in the home as you educate the children?
It is our aim to raise our children to love God and serve His purposes. We gear them towards being responsible, resourceful and respectful persons. We want them to love life and live it loud for the Lord Jesus Christ. We encourage them to dream big and pursue their God-given passions.
What a full life your family has! What wonderful memories you’re building, which is really one of the joys that homeschooling brings. Is there anything else that’s memorable – a milestone maybe – in your homeschooling journey that you wish to share in closing?
We’ve got many! Among other things, all our girls were early readers but we would highlight our third daughter Chrisalynn’s development. She began reading simple words at about 18 months, started simple chapter books at 4, and then on to chapter books at 5 without any reading programme. We believe it’s the result of her listening to us read aloud to the older girls. Chrisalynn was always there with us whenever we were reading. And now the girls are into learning Spanish by themselves via the internet and books. They teach each other (and parents learn from them!)
2007 was very memorable as we took our sabbatical that year. It was an extraordinary year, packed with surprises as we took time to rest in God and fed our faith. The children learnt on the go as we travelled to different places locally (Langkawi, Kuala Lumpur, Cameron Highlands, Sabah) and overseas (Australia and Singapore). Their learning experiences were recorded in two volumes of travel logs, all of which have become their cherished keepsakes. These volumes are filled with stories, research, interviews, reports, book list, budget expenses, and pictures. Above all, they experienced faith in action and watched God’s promises come alive in the journey.
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