Homeschooling when baby makes 4
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ; Parenting on 19 Aug 2009.
[DT: What happens to homeschool when baby arrives? Time to hunker down or throw in the towel? This mom of 4 tells how she worked things out without giving homeschool up. This is post #2 in a series - see previous post - of wonderful testimonies taken from our HOMEFRONTIER forum]
I HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOLING MY KIDS FOR 3 YEARS. I too panicked when I heard that I was pregnant with number 4. I wondered how I would cope with a 2yo who thinks he is Wolverine, a 4yo who still needs help in the toilet, and a 10yo reaching puberty (aiyoyo!). I could barely keep awake from sleepless nights, breastfeeding, and recovering from all that needed doing, but things did eventually work out!
Here’s what I did before baby was born:
1. Put kids in age-appropriate playgroups
I noticed my kids could play and form better friendships with others their age. Since there was none near my home and I didn’t have a car to zoom around, I formed 2 playgroups at home: one for my 11yo and another for my 3 and 5yo. When the kids came over they got to play and I got to take a breather. My 5yo found his best friend this way and now they are inseparable.
2. Lessen emphasis on academics
Workbooks and all that can wait. Having a new baby is a wonderful opportunity to introduce your kids to biology at work. I took my kids to the O&G clinic, they saw me get an ultrasound and take a blood test, and listened as my doctor interpreted the scan. They examined my growing tummy, and later after baby was delivered they prodded my deflated stomach, and watched as I breastfed the baby. Along the way the kids asked questions and that’s how learning took place.
3. Lessen my own workload
I formed a cooperative learning group. My 11yo learnt the violin at her friend’s house and took lessons from another 11-year old on Thursdays. That’s where she picked up badminton as well and now she’s keen for more training. Once a month she joined a study group in the home of another friend whose dad would teach whatever was the flavour of the month. This month her friend’s dad will be taking them all to the museum to learn about the Emergency (a pet topic of this dad).
Also, the parents that I have met through HOMEFRONTIER and MALHEN have been enormously supportive and my kids have benefited greatly from socializing with other families.
Hope this helps.
Yuling
4 Comments so far...
Kathleen Says:
19 August 2009 at 10:29 pm.
Dear all wonderful parents, sorry if my questions sound silly.. what is the end-point of homeschooling ? What I mean is: if attending normal school, we know the steps, from kindy -> primary -> secondary -> tertiary. Does it mean eventually homeschool must land to the same tertiary schools. Meaning we need to be able to prepare them till that level academically?
sc Says:
20 August 2009 at 3:05 pm.
Hello Kathleen,
That’s a Big question you’ve asked. It’s like asking what is the end-point of parenting? Because to me, hs is basically parenting. And what do parents want to see at the end of say, 18 years, when the child reaches the age of majority? For me, I want to see a maturing young person who is able to relate to others well, to think and stand for himself and is continuing to educate himself in every way, who knows more or less his/her strengths n weaknesses and passions and how he wants to serve the world with his gifts and abilities.
The steps of a normal schoolgoer are usually clearly marked as you mentioned but a hsler is not confined to that and he is free to do that or any other thing that his gifts and talents lead him to. Many hslers will end up in tertiary institutions after having sat for their qualifying exams like the O levels or the SAT. But every child is unique and hs allows him to grow in his unique way. We know of hslers who are brilliant students and have gone to the tertiary level at ages way below the average. And we know of hslers who are uniquely gifted in music or some skill and have pursued that by apprenticeship or studying under an expert in the field. Others have gone straight to work or started their own businesses, and some, especially girls, have chosen not to go to college or university but pursue their own passions in teaching or practising their skills or running their own businesses. Not all children are academically inclined but each child will have one or more ability or passion which they can pursue.
Our part as parents would be to equip them with the basic education from young (the 3 R’s, the love of learning, how to teach themselves and to look for answers) and help them find out their own likes and inclinations and allow them to develop these. Then we will guide the kids to prepare for the qualifying exams and consider tertiary education or professional training in whatever field they are interested in. By that time, in most cases, the hs child will be able to do a lot of that for himself: the exam prep and the application to colleges or work etc. We will be there as counsellors or advisors but the child should be allowed to decide for himself.
That is the beauty and benefit of hs: we do not need to conform to some route or path that everyone else takes. We can do our own thing, faster or slower, or take another route altogether. The important thing is that it fits the child and sets him free to become the best he can be.
In practice, of course, it’s easier said than done. Many times, we tend to compare with others whether school or hs, and then we start to worry that we may not be doing enough or our kid is too slow. Then we may start to nag the kid and put pressure on him! At such times, we have to take a deep breath and step back, and ask ourselves, Why are we worrying? Is it the kid we’re concerned about, or our reputation and what people may say?!
Hs is really a new way of thinking and looking at life, different from what we all are used to, having being brought up in school, and it’s some getting used to. But, we do see good results in happy children who have become happy productive well-adjusted adults here in Malaysia and all over the world, and that should count for something!
sook ching (a far from wonderful parent living by the grace of a Wonderful God)
Kathleen Says:
24 August 2009 at 7:07 pm.
Hi Sook Ching, though it’s not exactly what I am asking, but thanks for sharing.
Pei Yin Says:
27 August 2009 at 11:15 pm.
Thank you Sook Ching!
You don’t know how reassuring your sharing has been to a new homeschooler like me, still groping in the dark and apprehensive of what the future holds!
Like you said, hs is a new way of thinking and looking at life….I must say that right now, I’m struggling hard with shedding off the ‘old ways’. Homeschooling is really a journey of faith, isn’t it?
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