Homeschool negatives
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: FAQ on 10 Jan 2005.
2 couples visited to chat about homeschool Saturday night. Mr & Mrs J are wringing their hands in exasperation at the state of public schools (wife works with a publisher of Malaysian textbooks) and are pretty much sold on homeschooling their 5-year old son. We showed them our boys’ old scrapbooks and journals and encouraged them to take it easy and not rush into formal learning. We pulled out books and catalogues, and explained how to purchase curriculum off the Net, and as always, ended up talking about the legality of homeschool. They were an enthusiastic couple and both husband and wife talked about how exciting it would be to be learning and growing together.
Mr & Mrs Y (they have 3 kids) who rang the doorbell as the first couple was leaving was a picture of contrast. Y wasn’t happy that his wife wanted to homeschool and he expressed his indignation and skepticism throughout the evening. He understood his wife’s concerns, said Y, and that was why he agreed to talk to homeschoolers (evidence of an open mind, he added). Y admitted he did not have any idea what homeschooling was about, and concepts about schooling and education were largely defined by his personal experiences in public school. Both had views that were opposed to each other, but Mrs Y had gone on ahead to order homeschool books for their preschoolers, which to her husband was tantamount to open defiance.
I thought they were very honest in airing their differences to someone whom they had just met, and both Sook Ching and I told them they had to work things out together before homeschooling their kids. Here was a practical man who wanted answers to all his questions, including, “How much time do I really have to spend with my children?” and “What do I have to expect 5 years from now, or 10 years later?” Not an involved father to start with as it became apparent, but legitimate questions nonetheless. Seeing none of us at home was a crystal ball gazer, I’m not sure if we were entirely helpful. We also shared about the importance of conversations as one aspect of informal learning at home – we always have lots of things to talk about each time we sit down together, in the car, at meals, etc. Y turned to our 15-year old son Ethan and asked, besides “talking,” how much time does his Dad spend “teaching” him? Ethan gave him his typically lazy, quizzical look and said, “Well, talking is teaching too.” Don’t know if that meant anything to Y!
Anyway, what intrigued me most about the two couples was something both men asked. They’ve heard all these nice things about homeschool, but what about failures and dropouts? Aren’t there any? On balance, are there ‘negatives’ they should know about? Y reported that a church leader warned of a family whose teen had had a nervous breakdown shortly after homeschooling.
It always strikes me as utterly bizarre that all the violence and obvious breakdown in conventional schools never give detractors of homeschooling cause for pause. Apparently it’s alright when they happen in a conventional school, because these ‘negatives’ don’t make anyone say, “Careful, you don’t wanna send your children to zoos like these.” But talk about homeschooling, and someone goes, “Say, wasn’t that Yates woman who drowned her five kids a homeschooler?”
Now where do you think that came from?
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