25 January 2004

ABCs of homeschooling

Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Uncategorized.

We do not all enter the New Year in the same fashion. For a new homeschooler it will be a year of transition, a new way of doing things, a new routine even. For older homeschoolers, it’s usually a new resolve to improve their performance.

The more regimented among us would have a mission statement spelled out, all purpose-driven and milestone appointed. But whether by force of habit or compelled by circumstances, many others (among whom I count myself) will be stumbling into the new calendar while they are busy doing other things.

Eight years ago, we burnt our bridges and boldly went where few had trod (at least in Malaysia). We had decided to keep our two children at home, believing it was the best thing to do. My wife Sook Ching would give up her job and once the maid’s term ended, we would be turning over a new page, writing a new chapter. That was a lot of changes we packed into our new year back then, not to mention the repercussions of the Asian economic meltdown at the time. We did not have lots of resources such as cash or connections, and we would not and could not look back now.

You can imagine the mixed feelings we had, like the ones that overwhelm when you are leaving home for the first time. You quickly realise that all the stories you hear from friends and relatives or books you’ve read, never quite become the script you rehearse in anticipation of the life you’ve chosen. This is not to say that homeschool is not all it’s made out to be. It is. It’s just that we are all different and we are shaped as much by the choices we make as by the circumstances we’re placed in. Through the years, we have evaluated the course we’ve taken, and I dare say it’s like the ABCs: the alphabet is the same, but the letters are forming new words enriching our collective vocabulary.

Here are a few useful words we’ve learnt:

ACCEPTANCE
Whether you’re new to homeschool or not, the first thing you need to do is to accept one another. The heroes of the homeschooling community and the achievers we read about are great motivational stuff. It is right to be challenged and encouraged to achieve similar feats, but beware the tyranny of false expectations. The very reason why we homeschool is to break out from the rigidity of artificially imposed standards. So we ought not subscribe to the same and presume our children will learn in the same way, at the same pace, and in words unspoken, do us parents proud as if to prove homeschool ‘right.’

For instance, not every child must or will read at 3 or 4 years, or become a music prodigy. In the early ages, all a child needs are active play and a supportive parent-child relationship. There is something to be said about what we think our child needs as opposed to what he or she is ready for. Learning readiness (as well as learning styles) differs from person to person. Of course, the right attitudes towards learning must be nurtured, but we need to be clear about whose milestones our child is measured against, and for whose pleasure we desire what we are pursuing.

Bear in mind also that we parents have our limits too. Your spouse is not the fount of all knowledge, and neither are you. I cannot speak for all parents, but I know I am not Father of the Year material, and I should not expect my wife to be Super Mom of the Year. Share the load, even engage tutors if necessary. Although by homeschooling we reduce the number of variables, it does not mean we now have enough time to do everything in a home. Not many of us will have the luxury to do all things well, but by God’s grace we can decide to pay attention to the few that matter.

BALANCE
Second, we should always aim at balance in our homeschool. By this I mean a healthy approach to building mind, body and soul. In the words of social theorist Neil Postman, true education must include, “the art and science of question-asking.” This will come from wide reading and deep conversations. We must aim at becoming as familiar as Paul himself was (with Greek writings), and as the early Church Fathers (like Augustine) were with secular classics and philosophies of their day.

Nevertheless, it would not do to develop external skills, head knowledge and competence without equally building our child’s interior life. Granted, this cannot be artificially induced. But the seeds must be planted early so that God can breathe life into them in his time so the child resonates with the disciplines and passions of a person who knows Jesus personally.

Balance also means giving a child an acceptable level of social interaction. Church friends and activities are good, but we also need to ask how else to expand our circle beyond the holy huddle. I remember what Luis Palau once said, that when manure is spread out, it fertilises. Pile them in one place and it does nothing but stink. Ministry and community service help us to look away from self-indulgence and protection of our comfort zones.

CONVICTION
Finally, hold on to your convictions. I have observed that the less clear a parent is regarding homeschool concepts, the more frazzled he or she is likely to be. Social pressures (from non-homeschooling parents, friends or church leaders) will shake your confidence if you do not know what you are doing. Differing ideas between Mom and Dad also puts a strain on how to homeschool or discipline a child. In that unhappy state, a child is not going to find an environment that is conducive to learning and spiritual formation.

I know most people say they homeschool because the present education system is ‘bad.’ That’s a reason - up to a point - but is this all? Because that would mean scraping home education if a new school opens next door promising everything you ever dreamed about to help your child achieve his ‘full potential’ (endorsed by ‘experts’ no less!). Go ahead and enroll your child if it works for you, but in the meantime it’s going to have a bearing on your attitudes and the way you educate your child at home.

A tentative “I-wish-I-didn’t-have-to-homeschool-but-I’ve-got-no-choice” position will make homeschool unbearable for yourself and your child. If you should take your child out of conventional schooling, you must be clear what you are putting him into as a substitute, for how long, and to what end. The bewilderment over curriculum or methodology can usually be traced to misunderstanding of means and ends, but mainly to unarticulated convictions.

You need to be clear too that homeschool comes packaged with some ‘risks’, the way conventional schooling has its own. Let me qualify that: we are all pioneers making things up as we go along, living with less than our ideals demand - while we work to make things better for ourselves, and for the ones who will come after us.

Homeschool IS viable and practical, but it will ask a lot out of you and your spouse. Like parenting, what it asks is, what are you prepared to pay to make it work?

Of course, you have to contend with an ambivalent Ministry of Education as well. Unlike countries like the US or Australia, homeschool ranks pretty low on the acceptability scale. For various reasons, the authorities are not going to pat you on the back for your good intentions. You may have to take a chance by not applying for exemption, or take a chance applying (in which case you cannot be sure if it will be favourable or not).

Let me conclude by saying that if we have to live our lives all over again, we would make the same decision to educate our boys at home. Homeschool has been a real blessing in more ways than one. We experienced the faithfulness of God to make us equal to the challenges that came. We learnt what it meant to obey God one day at a time, and then to leave the consequences to him. As you go along, I have no doubt you’ll learn the same.

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