[The following reflection grew out of a workshop on Theology of the Child organised by Baptist Theological Seminary (Nov 1 & 2), and a dialogue on (Nov 3), kindly put together by Penang homeschoolers. Both meetings were held on the island during the recent Deepavali break]

We had just finished introducing ourselves when a gentleman at the end of the table asked, “Your sons are both ‘normal.’ So why are you homeschooling?”

We get that quite a bit, usually from parents who assume that only ‘special’ kids need home education. At our dialogue on homeschooling held in Penang, a good number of the 12 adults present were parents of children with learning differences or disabilities.

I tried to explain that while homeschooling is probably one of the best things you could do for children with learning disabilities, it works just as well with any child. Perhaps even better. That’s because homeschool recognises that every child is special, each requiring individual attention that is so critical to learning. In a secure home where love abounds, habits of heart and mind find fertile ground to flower.

When we first started to educate Ethan and Elliot (turning 13 and 11 respectively) at home all these years ago, our primary concern then was the state of the education system. The horror stories were universal. Not knowing any other options, many of our friends and relations ushered their children through a wretched rite of passage, setting aside their better judgment while keeping their fingers crossed at the same time. Could there be another way, we asked?

Thankfully we were introduced to homeschooling, and to quote Robert Frost, taking the less traveled road has made all the difference.

7 years later, we’re more a family now than we could ever imagine. We have reclaimed childhood for our children, and I am happy to report that they are both imbued with a lively curiosity and love for learning. They’re no angels of course, but there is a depth of character that we find encouraging. Besides simply fulfilling our adult roles as teacher, we are humbled by what our children have to teach us as well.

All this came home afresh to me as we sat through a workshop on Theology of the Child held in the Baptist Theological Seminary in Batu Ferringhi, Penang. The 2-day dialogue preceded our homeschooling meet during that long festive weekend and thus provided new insights that confirmed personal convictions. While children and childhood are nettlesome to many parents, I saw how the Bible itself was unapologetic in their affirmation.

For instance, after making a study of situations featuring children in the gospels, Dr W.A Strange in his book ‘Children in the Early Church’ contends that, “The coming of the kingdom of God did not make children into adults, but affirmed their childhood.” Instead, they were held up as models for discipleship, he writes. Dr Strange also notes that “Jesus’ openness to children was for their own sake, not principally for their potential, and it was something unique to his ministry.” Now, there’s food for thought.

As participating theologians, teachers, pastors and care providers talked about the marginalisation of children, we questioned how the church - of all institutions! – continue to erect structures that put kids in their places without considering the negative signals they convey. The separation of children from adults (and their parents) in a worship service is one example, although there have been positive changes in recent times.

We also looked at how society (usually with the connivance of parents) view children as mere commodity to achieve personal ends. Is it any wonder so many fall through the cracks, sapped of all vitality and purpose? They join the ranks of the disillusioned who cannot reconcile belief with practice. Worse still, these same children grow up learning that ‘face’ matters more than faith.

On the other hand, there’s Jesus of whom Luke 2:52 declares, grew “in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men.” When one looks at the broader context that includes v39, it is quite apparent those qualities were not birthed in the barrenness of good intentions.

Three parties were intimately linked here: Firstly, that Joseph and Mary did “everything required by the Law” provides a significant clue. I’d like to believe Jesus’ parents exemplified a lifetime of daily obedience beyond superficial rites that began with the dedication of their firstborn. To borrow Eugene Peterson’s phrase, the first task of parenting involves “a long obedience in the same direction.”

Secondly, it is the Lord who through his grace and mercy ultimately gives growth. After all, it is the Spirit’s business we are told, to work transformation “with ever increasing glory” in His people (2 Corinthians 3:18). Finally and not surprisingly, the child whose heart is thus prepared grows strong, “filled with wisdom and grace.”

So, am I saying that homeschool is the magic bullet? Of course not. A dynamic tripartite relationship between God-Parent-Child is what counts most of all. But if you are seeking a better way to realize these important goals than that which conventional educational systems offer, you might want to give homeschool some thought.