In the course of the new year, we have had the opportunity to meet with new homeschooling families, either in their homes or in ours. Like most eager homeschoolers taking the first steps into an undiscovered country, conviction is usually greater than confidence. That could just as well describe our own state of mind when we took the plunge ourselves all those years ago.

It’s not unusual to feel these unequal tugs of anxiety and enthusiasm (even now, I may add). And depending on which side of the bed your child got up, homeschool is either the best decision you’ve ever made, or the most reckless! More so when your children are preschoolers and under 7.

Then there’s the simmering conflict: how much of study and play should one incorporate into a child’s routine? One of our boys used to say, “a child’s work is play,” which is exactly what Maria Montessori would say, but then, what did she know about the IT Revolution in the 3rd Millennium? If it’s up to the hundreds of kindergarten proprietors in the country, the earlier a child begins school, the greater the advantage. Hurry, hurry, no time to lose. And don’t just stop there – put them on a course of Computers, and Creative Thinking Skills (whatever that is!).

On the other hand, homeschooling’s elder statesman, octogenarian Dr Raymond Moore, thinks that such accelerated learning is a sure recipe for fatigue and stress in children, even serious harm. Start formal education later, he says, preferably around 10 to 12 years. “…the young child needs the early years for a normal blossoming period before he is ready for any serious approach to the skills of reading,writing and arithmetic. “ (Better Late Than Early)

His words follow those of famous Piagetian Dr David Elkind, Professor of Child Study at Tufts University. His book “The Hurried Child” (3rd edition) is a hard-hitting and well-documented indictment against institutionalised early childhood education (including industry and media forces) that only projects the parent’s need instead of a child’s inclinations. “Young children have limited powers of adaptation, which are sometimes exceeded by the pressures of adult scheduling,” he warns.

On the other side of the fence is Richard Fugate, the well-known writer and publisher of homeschool curricula. His book, “Will Early Education Ruin Your Child” is a scathing rebuttal of Moore’s ideas (and his theology). “There is no reason that many children, beginning phonics at four, five, or even six, shouldn’t complete high school requirements by 13 or 14 years of age without undue pressure or strain on parents or child. Homeschoolers should be at least one year above their public school counterparts…” He is however careful to clarify that he opposes any “super baby” type of teaching methods, and is merely challenging the position that early formal education is harmful to the child.

So much for the debate. What’s a simple Mom or Dad to do about controversies like this?

I would say, examine your motives first. Are you exerting adult pressure on Junior just to keep up with the Joneses? Are you egging him on to compensate for or validate your own person?

Second, know your child and decide what’s appropriate to his age and what matches his pace. Some basic skills such as reading, writing and arithmetic are important, but not every child need or will grow up an orator, a doctor, or a poet.

Finally, seek balance and put God’s desire for your child (and for the family) first. As much as we parents love our children, we can never outlove our Heavenly Father’s love for them. And as important as it is to start right, it is finishing well that matters most of all.