10 March 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Malaysian schools.
The Nutgraph is running a 4-part series on education in the country. The third installment by Deborah Loh which comes out today examines the growing interest in homeschooling. You’ll find comments by the usual suspects, meaning KV Soon of Family Place, and yours truly, as well as Hafizah who runs the Malaysia Homeschool Unite forum.
Of particular note is a comment by the education director-general, and both KV and my response to him:
(T)he government has no intention of recognising home schooling, says education director-general Datuk Alimuddin Md Dom. “It’s just a minority of people doing it. There are also other political aspects to consider like racial harmony. When children home-school, they miss the socialisation process of mixing with different races,” he tells The Nut Graph.
But Soon and Tan rubbish claims that home-schooled children are poorly socialised. Home school families often get together for educational activities and field trips where their children interact. Additionally, Tan questions whether racial harmony in public schools has been achieved. “Society has become more polarised after so many years of ’socialising’ in regular schools,” he observes.
Read the rest here.
In the first installment, writer Koh Lay Chin looks at the number of parents sending their kids to private schools as indicative of growing disenchantment with Malaysia’s public education (but of course!) and asks what in the present system caused the shift:
For certain, the statistics indicate that a significant number of Malaysians seem to be losing faith in Malaysia’s public school system.
For instance, there is clearly growing demand for private education. The number of private kindergartens, for example, went up from 263,307 in 2004 to 668,287 in just two years, according to statistics from the Education Ministry’s Private Education Department.
Enrolment in international schools, meanwhile, rose from 5,069 students in 2000 to 8,341 the following year.
And within seven years, the number of students enrolled in private primary schools nationwide increased more than 22% from 7,234 students in 2000 to 16,190. [Read the rest here]
The second installment comments on the popularity of Chinese medium schools among Malaysian parents, and even among those who are non-Chinese. The article quotes Chinese educationist Dr Kua Kia Soong who said:
“[The increased interest in Chinese-medium schools] is more of an embarrassment to the government because it aims to attract all races to the national schools but more and more Malay and Indian [Malaysians] are going to Chinese schools.” [Read the rest here]
The series has been an interesting read not just for what it says about the declining appeal of public education in the country (we know that), but about how life always finds a way! For what it’s worth, it does appear to mirror something I had previously posted entitled, Between a Rock and a Hard Place which surveyed present options for unhappy parents with school-going kids.
Parents are seeking out options – whether private or chinese-medium schools, or homeschool – and indeed, options are out there either by default or by design. While we hope that our government will ‘do something’ about the state of affairs in our schools, we need to know that governments can’t do everything, and shouldn’t do everything. Careful, there be dragons, going down that road. Besides, as a commentator wrote, “for the moment and probably the next twenty years, a bulk of our government servants are not going to be able to meet quickly the demands of society.” With things the way they are, this will include most if not all our government institutions.
Make sure to visit The Nutgraph and follow the series. And yes, do add your 2-sen to the discussion.
25 February 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Muslim homeschool.
For the longest time, many people looked askance at homeschool as if it were a desperate attempt by fundamentalist Christians at burying their heads in the sand. Misconceptions abound, but no matter. Although it is true that for Christians, the preservation and inculcation of faith values and a religious worldview have been among the primary appeal to homeschool, there are many other compelling reasons for deserting conventional schools.
But these days homeschool is no longer the preserve of Christians alone.
Today, you can find homeschoolers of all colour or creed, spread across the globe. And they are doing it out of a strong can-do spirit that refuses the dictates of the state or so-called education experts who dare to deny parents the right to raise their own children in the way they see fit. Of faith communities that have adopted homeschooling as the education methodology of choice, Muslim homeschoolers are the most notable. In Malaysia, there is a growing number of Muslim families who have not only discovered the joy of educating their children at home – see for example, MamaFiza and Rasheedah – but are also spreading the good word with passion and exuberance.
In the US where three-quarters of the country’s 2 million homeschoolers are Christian, Muslims are swelling the ranks. Here’s a report by Tara Bahrampour of The Washington Post that should interest homeschoolers in our country:
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ON A CHILLY AFTERNOON IN WESTERN LOUDON COUNTY, a group of children used tweezers to extract rodent bones from a regurgitated owl pellet. A boy built a Lego launcher. A girl practiced her penmanship. On the wall, placards read, “I fast in Ramadan,” “I pay zakat” and “I will go on hajj.”
Welcome to Priscilla Martinez’s home — and her children’s school, where Martinez is teacher, principal and guidance counselor, and where the credo “Allah created everything” is taught alongside math, grammar and science.
Martinez and her six children, ages 2 to 12, are part of a growing number of Muslims who home-school. In the Washington area, Martinez says, she has seen the number of home-schoolers explode in the past five years.
Although three-quarters of the nation’s estimated 2 million home-schoolers identify themselves as Christian, the number of Muslims is expanding “relatively quickly,” compared with other groups, said Brian Ray, president of the National Home Education Research Institute.
They do so, he said, for the same reasons as non-Muslims: “Stronger academics, more family time, they want to guide social interaction, provide a safe place to learn and . . . teach them [their] values, beliefs and worldview.”
Parents say it is an attractive alternative to public schools, with whose traditions and values they are not always comfortable, and Islamic schools, which might be too far away, cost too much or lack academic rigor.
Parents say it is an attractive alternative to public schools, with whose traditions and values they are not always comfortable, and Islamic schools, which might be too far away, cost too much or lack academic rigor.
If Muslims have come to embrace home schooling later than others, it might be in part because so many Muslims in the United States are immigrants who might not be aware of the option. In fact, for many immigrants, the idea of home schooling runs counter to their reasons for coming to America, which frequently include better educational opportunities. And public school has long been seen as a key portal to assimilation.
When Sanober Yacoob arrived from Pakistan 13 years ago and began to home-school her three children, she was the only immigrant she knew of who was doing so. Others from Muslim countries “thought I was weird,” she said. “One of them said to me, ‘I hope you’re not going to destroy yourself, and they will grow up ignorant.’ ”
Now, more are following in her footsteps, and many use the highly regarded Calvert curriculum for home-schoolers.
[Continue reading Muslims turning to homeschooling here.]
7 February 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Malaysian schools.
A letter to Malaysiakini by someone who addressed himself/herself as Angry Parent despairs over the way education is going in Malaysia. The point in the letter is the policy reversal relating to the teaching of Science and Math in English. Six years after its implementation, these two subjects will now be taught (again) in Bahasa Malaysia beginning in 2011. The language row has been intensely fought by proponents on both sides of the fence. But as this parent explains, advocates of “a near-monolingual educational system in Malaysia will eventually paint themselves and the entire country into a corner.”
Arguing for BM, the Government pointed to less than sterling performance among students in rural constituencies who struggle with English, even as other politicians, academicians, and nationalists, decry the use of English as a medium of instruction a betrayal of culture. (Here are 2 arguments for BM – here and here).Angry Parent writes that English as the language of choice in the global arena as well as in the fields of science and technology underscores its relevance and importance for Malaysian students, and more urgently, the country’s future too.
Although the English language lags behind with an estimated 1.3 billion speakers, it has the widest distribution covering 54 countries within the British Commonwealth across all six inhabited continents, in the US and is widely utilised within the European Union, particularly in the Scandinavian countries.
In fact, English is often the language of choice used in proceedings and documentation within the UN Economic Commission for Europe (UNECE), based in Geneva. English is not only advancing in the world of science and technology, it is also gaining momentum in countries where English is not even a national language.
The progressive evolution of international trade, ICT and education has changed this world into a border-less one. Partisans who continue to advocate a near-monolingual educational system in Malaysia will eventually paint themselves and the entire country into a corner.
Is it any wonder that so many of our local university graduates are not employable or marketable because most of them are monolingual? Many of these so-called educationists themselves are not employable in the private sector, nor are they prominent leaders in the world of science and technology.
To be a developed country, one needs a world-class educational system. Not one that is determined by partisan politics.
Angry Parent gives more examples of the published use of English in the sciences, tech tools and devices (including e Readers that make English medium books even more accessible), the continuing brain drain of the country’s young and brightest, and highlights what Malaysian students stand to lose.
In addition, online courses and reference materials are blooming on the Internet. Most of them are in English. Leading technical institutions, such as, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have made a wide range of lectures by its teaching staff freely available over the Internet through its OpenCourseWare (OCW) programme.
The Public Library of Science (PLoS), a non-profit organisation of scientists and physicians committed to making the world’s scientific and medical literature a freely available public resource, is publishing papers covering biology, medicine, computational biology, genetics, pathogens and tropical diseases which are, likewise, freely available through its website.
Other leading institutions, such as the University of California at Berkeley (UCB) and Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) are joining hands with MIT in this effort. They have even set up channels on YouTube. College students around the world can now experience and access world-class lectures from MIT, UCB and CMU, minus the fees, from YouTube.
Angry Parent concludes:
Therefore, is it any wonder that our ‘brain drain’ is literally irreversible, the multimedia super- corridor remains nothing more than a real-estate project and our biotechnology park and ‘rubber city’ remain a far-fetched dream.
In taking one step forward, the country has taken two steps backward. And for all this, we have our short-term thinking politicians to thank for.
Well, the Government has decided and there is no turning back. You can read the whole letter by Angry Parent here.
5 February 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Socialization.
Every time homeschool crops up in a conversation, critics usually warn if we risk raising social misfits. “How would your kids learn social skills? They don’t mix around with other kids, don’t join team sports like we did in school?”
However it occurred to me that instead of comparing what kids in a conventional school enjoy (more friends, competitive sports, etc) and what homeschool kids purportedly miss (more friends, competitive sports, etc) we ought to consider the bigger issue of motivation.
Homeschool isn’t easy and it certainly isn’t a ticket to heaven. For many families, it means a single-income lifestyle, making do with less, taking more risks than one’s comfortable with. Still, the whole idea of educating one’s children at home does seem so left-field, so back-to-the-kampung it’s romantic. So what’s it worth then?
If you have to ask, those of us who homeschool are fairly sure that the good outweighs all that regular schooling promises. Like the story of the merchant who sold everything he owned to buy the pearl of great value: what he gave up was nothing compared to what he gained or stood to gain. He didn’t have to knead his forehead, and wistfully say that with house(s) and car(s) sold, bank accounts emptied, stocks and shares cashed out and used up, his popularity rating down to zip (that happens when people think you’re crazy), yeah, life would have been way cool if, you know, he had all that AND the one precious pearl too.
I’d like to think homeschoolers are just like that merchant in Jesus’ parable. Of course people who educate their children at home are no more saints than the next-door neighbours who do not. Like all normal human beings we’re not exempt from the dilemma of difficult choices. But we’re not disappointed that life’s unfair: you don’t get to tick all the boxes. No one gets everything they want anyway. It’s hard, but if you have to choose a few good things from among heaps of other good stuff, you do what you have to do and stick it out.
Homeschooling families in Malaysia know their children’s circle of same-age friends will invariably shrink, competitive sports will probably be out of reach, there will be no trinkets to win, and goodness, even fewer tales of derring-do and great achievements to regale one’s family and friends. But is that so bad?
In some ways, the myth of socialization comes pretty close to the oft-touted ‘wisdom of crowds,’ that wisdom naturally and usually reside on the side of the many. Now this, I’m not so sure. Take a look around and see what years of socialization have done for our youth. Juvenile crimes and vandalism are on the rise, and so is violence in schools. Parents lament the loss of respect for elders while employers wonder at the dearth of social skills among new hires. And let’s not even go near the ever widening ethnic divide in plural Malaysia.
So let me burst a few bubbles here:
- Children do not need lots of friends.
- More socialization does not lead to better social skills.
- Kids do not need to be constantly pumped up on activities.
- It is not the parents’ job to keep their children entertained.
- Competitive sports are not the only place for young people to learn teamwork.
But don’t take my word for it. Check out this piece by Danielle Olander. Another study by Dr Larry Shyers reports consistently fewer behavioral problems among homeschooled children, and this was because they “tend to imitate their parents while conventionally-schooled children model themselves after their peers.” The same study concludes: “The results seem to show that a child’s social development depends more on adult contact and less on contact with other children as previously thought.”
When you choose to homeschool your kids, it does not mean they give up socializing. God forbid that you lock them in the house all day! It simply means redefining priorities and deciding how and with whom you socialize. Never mind that you’ll have to put in a bit more effort to let your children interact outside the home. All the better to have them cultivate meaningful relationships with everyone, regardless of their station in life, colour or faith, young and old.
Here’s an opportunity to teach that life is more than meeting every felt need, social or material. It’s not about collecting friends and weighing what you can get out of all that socializing. When children learn that it is more blessed to give than receive, they have learnt the most important social skill of all.
*Photo: Unsocialized homeschoolers camp at Forest Reserve Institute Malaysia (FRIM)
20 January 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: humour.
19 January 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Homeschool Profile.
10-year old Ali is one lucky kid! He’s being taught at home by parents Harith Idris and Intan Shamsuddin who are one of the most dedicated homeschooling couples we’ve met. They’ve hosted and participated in homeschooling dialogues, arranged for cartoonist Dato Lat to visit a homeschoolers’ outdoor camp, and are great resource persons for unschoolers. Thoughtful and always cheerful, work from home (part-time) mom Intan has no qualms sharing with us the joy of educating her only son at home.
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Every homeschooling family has a story. What’s yours?
Ali was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 2. But that didn’t stop this numbskull of a mother (the poor boy!) from shopping for a kindy when ‘the time’ came. We spent the whole day going from one kindy to another and in the end decided to settle for one, enrolled, and paid the fees. As a good mummy would, this one stayed to watch from outside the class. I was horrified at how the teacher quickly instilled fear in the kids to obey her every word and completely ignored a boy who started pinching Ali. Without further ado, I pulled him out of class and insisted on my refund. Came straight home and thought hard (about 10 minutes or so), and ceremoniously announced to my hubby Harith: “I can’t stomach him going to school. We’ll just homeschool Ali”.
Just like that! How did your husband take it? Weren’t there objections from him or other family members?
Of course hubby just smiled and said, “Why not? I’m all for it!” And so began our homeschooling journey.
Objections from family? None at all! Harith and I have always been the ‘black sheep’ of our respective family, so doing something out of the norm was, well, more or less expected of us….and we were not about to let them down. We ARE so blessed 
Did you know what you were getting into when you decided to homeschool?
In the beginning it felt very scary with so many uncertainties. We were in uncharted waters here. One way we got around this was to read as much as we could on homeschooling……. books, internet articles. When I found out there ARE other homeschooling families in Malaysia, it was rather reassuring. As time went by, I knew for certain there’s no turning back. Homeschooling felt right, there’s just no other way, at least for us!
Tell us what’s your homeschool like – the things you do, the way you spend your time. What’s your role, and how does Harith fit into the picture?
This mummy tackles more or less the ‘academic’ stuff and daddy’s the one who takes him out to the playground and field trips. We began by teaching Ali how to read, using the phonics method. Somehow we managed to complete the program in just over a week! After that it was trip after trip to the book stores. And that’s the way it has been – English, (Japanese manga thrown in, plus a healthy treat of comics here and there), Science, and whatever subject, come what may, we just throw ourselves into it. Wonderful!
Arts and crafts also play an important role in Ali’s learning. Water colour is his favourite medium….endless paintings! If it isn’t a specific subject he’s painting, he would be experimenting by mixing colours until this mummy runs out of words to describe his colour mixes.
There’s no curriculum then?
No, we definitely don’t use any curriculum. For instance, with Math, we started with basic counting – not just on paper, but with everyday stuff that’s around us. Grocery shopping is good for math too! When the time came to learn multiplication (don’t ask me how I handled that), he mastered the 1 to 12 times table in a week! He’s now learning algebra, but with long hiatuses every now and then! Oh, and just recently, he has expressed interest in Chemistry. Yikes! We’re talking about a mummy who’s always been terrified of Chemistry, and now I’ll get to learn it all over again. What fun?!
I mean, why confine Math, Vocabulary, Spelling, etc, to the study table only? We’re always learning – while taking a bath or shower, rolling around in bed after reading a story book, etc. Of course, doing Science would mean experiments galore (and ultimately a messy home), but we’re easy with that.
But your son Ali is autistic. Doesn’t it make homeschool more challenging?
Friends and acquaintances were rather perplexed when they learn Ali was being homeschooled. There’s nothing wrong with your son, they would say. Homeschooling must be right then, I replied! Being able to learn at their own pace, surrounded by people who love and do not judge them, in surroundings where they feel safe and secure, help autistic children tremendously. That goes for ‘normal’ ones too!
Because autistic children get easily disturbed in unfamiliar and noisy surroundings, we did our best to avoid going to such places especially during the early years. Ali’s doing a lot better in recent years, primarily because he grew up in calm surroundings. Homeschooling allowed us to shield him and it had a relatively calming effect on him. I doubt this can be achieved in conventional schooling.
Indeed, I can’t imagine any school that could have offered Ali the kind of attention he’s getting.
More than that, homeschooling has allowed us to be intimately acquainted with Ali. He’s absolutely amazing and humorous. I love to hear him talk and recap whatever he’s read or watched. Some parents are quite baffled how we could spend so much time together without feeling stifled. I’ll say we are baffled how some parents can spend a good chunk of their day away from their children, come home and then tell their kids, ‘‘Sorry darlings, mummy just got back from a meeting and I am exhausted. Go do something to amuse yourself!”
What values have you sought to inculcate in the home as you raise and teach Ali?
As the years pass by, we have come to realize this: homeschooling is spiritual. Whatever it is about religion that is dished out by people ‘in the know’ have always been dry and meaningless. We have to start putting back the missing ingredients in lifeless religious rituals, and that’s what we’re all about.
What would you say to parents who want to homeschool?
I’ll tell them, you must start with the right intention, and continue to purify your intention as you go on the homeschooling journey. Start with LOVE – you can never go wrong with that. Homeschooling will also reveal ugly weaknesses in you. Just acknowledge them, embrace them. You will surely overcome them in time. Then everyone in the family will come out as winners- guaranteed! Cheers to homeschooling!
13 January 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Child Development.
With all the talk about expanding preschool enrolment in the country is anyone asking what’s being done about the danger of child abuse and how to keep these centres safe? While the growing numbers of reported child abuse did not necessarily take place in kindergartens and playschools, recent news of an alleged sex offender operating a kindy raised alarm.
In Malaysia the thriving business of kindergartens, playschools, and daycare for kids provide an invaluable service catering to young parents whose busy careers leave little time for junior. The Child Care Centre Act regulates this army of childminders although kindergartens and nurseries operated by the Education Ministry are governed by a different Act.
Since its implementation, this provision requires home-based centres that receive less than 10 children and any institution that has more than 10 children to be registered before they are allowed to operate. Unfortunately enforcement is so lax and the need so great few parents suspect their children may be left in the care of strangers in unregistered centers. A report in The Nutgraph looks at the cabinet-approved Child Protection Policy (CPP) rolled out in July 2009 and examines how implementation falls short of its intentions:
Notwithstanding the government’s efforts, PH Wong (child advocate and Childline Malaysia project director) says a large number of childcare centres and kindergartens are still not registered with the authorities. She says the number of registered centres has almost halved from five years ago. This means that many children are attending unregistered centres.
And even for registered centres, there is no formal accreditation. “We have been pushing for a national quality accreditation system for early childhood centres for more than 10 years, but that has not been implemented yet,” says PH Wong, (child advocate and Childline Malaysia project director).
(United Nations Children’s Fund representative to Malaysia) Youssouf Omar says that parents and guardians must play their part and ensure they do not put children in situations where they could be at risk.
“Parents and guardians should be proactive and ask to check the centre’s licence, as well as ask whether it has a formal child protection policy. In addition, [they must also be] aware of changes in children’s behaviour and look out for signs that the children may not be well protected or cared for in the centre,” explains Youssouf.
By requesting to see a centre’s child protection policy, he says it would create a demand for such policies. “By boycotting places that are not registered, parents can influence the practices of childcare centres and kindergartens,” he adds.
Read the whole story here.
For a brief write-up about kindergarten licensing procedure go here.
12 January 2010
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: College/University.
19-year old Ethan left for the US a few days ago, closing a chapter on his somewhat eclectic homeschool to begin a new chapter studying in a university in Texas. Never mind that some folks scoffed that the uni in question wasn’t a ‘recognized’ one (okay, it isn’t Ivy League). As his parents we were a bundle of mixed emotions – incredibly delighted, a mite apprehensive, pretty bowled over, fairly amazed, deeply grateful – but mainly happy for Ethan, that his unconventional ’schooling’ did not get in the way of his education. 38 hours, 4 planes, 1 wrong airport, and a visit to Walmart later, he writes about starting out as a regular student for the first time in his life.
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TOMORROW I BEGIN MY FIRST SEMESTER in Hardin-Simmons University. I’ll be coming in smack in the middle of the academic year. There won’t be an official orientation for me since, well, it’s just not worth it. I’ll have to play catch-up in a game altogether unfamiliar to me. I do not have my books. I do not have my schedule. I do not even have the key card to my dorm (and have had to rely on the kindness of strangers). This is because everything – everything – will only open tomorrow. Someone in my dorm promised to show me where to get the necessary first thing in the morning. Still. Oh god.
The months preceding that letter of acceptance from Hardin-Simmons were frustrating, confusing months. I wandered in the desert for 40 years when it came to sending out college applications. A major hurdle was the fact that I’d never been to school before. I had loads of interesting things like book reviews published in the newspapers, piano exam certificates, public speaking awards, extra-curricula portfolios – that sort of thing – but colleges wanted more. They wanted to see GPAs, transcripts, high school finishing certificates that they recognized. I was on the verge of fabricating my GPA when I grasped at the first straw I could find. I went to Eli360, a Christian college rep agency. Eli360 represents more than 50 private universities across the United States. The list of options was narrow because of my qualified lack of qualifications.
Hardin-Simmons was the first to accept me. I could speculate on and on why Hardin-Simmons accepted me even when I didn’t have a GPA. It might have something to do with Eli360’s president speaking to the university on my behalf. It might have something to do with the recommendations my friends wrote. It might have something to do with the person reflected in my application packet. Or it might have something to do with the slumping economy and the need for easy cash. It’s possible Hardin-Simmons may not be the only university in the world to accept me, but I don’t and didn’t care. I took it.
I received a partial scholarship from Hardin-Simmons based on my SAT score. A better SAT score would mean a better scholarship, so I took the SAT again. I studied for it this time and, to my surprise, scored higher for math than for writing. I’m now eligible for a better scholarship that would cover about one third of my fees. This I’ve decided to take as a promising omen.
I’m here for a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts and Sciences. The sort of degree that nobody really understands because Liberal Arts students don’t really understand it either. Ah, perfect. But to give you a better idea of what this might mean, my classes this semester will be:
College Algebra
Intro to the Visual Arts
American Government
Freshmen Writing I
Intro to Psychology
The weeks leading to my date of departure were full of farewells. The people who showed up at the airport to see me off made it a little harder to leave because I could see how much I’d be leaving behind. Kuala Lumpur. Singapore. Moscow. Houston. Fort Worth. Abilene, Texas. I’m here. And I’m not done yet. In a matter of hours I’ll discover what it means to go to class.
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(Photo: Ethan (R), in a rare pose with younger brother Elliot in KLIA) Follow Ethan’s blog here.
28 December 2009
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Homeschooling Achievers; One From The Archives.
Now that you’ve put the Christmas rush behind you, here’s One From The Archives to help you with priorities for the new homeschooling year. I first wrote this piece titled ‘Winning While Losing’ back in 2003 (!) and looking at it right now, it’s a timely reminder that’s worth another read.
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HOMESCHOOLERS ARE MAKING WAVES EVERYWHERE AREN’T THEY? Take the story of Aussie twins Katherine and Edward Alpert for instance. They finished high school with a grade point average of 97% while their mates were just ditching their Pokemon cards. Now, at the ripe old age of 12, both twins are scoring distinctions in their Bachelor of Arts degree programme. Parents Felicity and Garry are obviously proud of their kids’ achievements and admit to working long and hard to nurture their academic prowess.
Wait, there’s more. The highly motivated twins are also into cricket, and competing in an upcoming song and dance contest. And as homeschooling prodigy Katherine herself says, “Yes, there’s nothing that I think I can’t do.”
That’s the sort of thing that gets my goat: homeschooling achievers oozing self-confidence by the truckloads.
All these fantastic stories do something to you, don’t they? Sure, there’s a vicarious thrill reading them, and you relish the fact that yes, one day your kids are going to show ‘em too. Because they are homeschoolers, and because that’s what homeschoolers regularly do: they make the headlines (for the right reasons).
That’s when you wake up with a rude thud as posterior meets terra firma. So, why aren’t our kids in the news? They don’t spell right, they don’t get their sums correct, they have problems getting out of bed before 10 a.m. In the meantime, Mum’s tearing her hair out nagging them to quit horsing around and get some work done. Compared to Katherine or Edward’s brilliance, our kids might as well be chewing on pacifiers. Good on you, Felicity and Garry! Now, if only you could look our way and do something for our boys.
One of the hardest lessons about homeschooling is coming to terms with limitations ~ ours, and our kids. Some parents after reading about the amazing feats of super moms and dads (and their super-achieving brood) find their convictions skewered by a deepening sense of incompetence. Others, after another frustrating school day, ask if they have lost the plot or missed a vital formula in the Secrets to Successful Homeschooling.
Let’s face it: homeschooling families come in all shapes and sizes, wrapped mostly in a bundle of nerves. Although redeemed and born again, many parents remain as John Cheever puts it, “ransomed to their beginnings” and it shows. We go through life, with God’s help, undoing the knotty baggage of our past piece-by-piece, one day at a time. It’s as Paul declared when he wrote, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on…toward the goal…” (Phi 3:12). Coming from a man who earlier shared about his weakness being perfected in God’s strength, his is a fitting word for a kiasu world obsessed with Number One.
Two months ago, our son Elliot had a brush with humiliating defeat. Having done extremely well in the preliminary round of a Spelling Bee organised by a leading retailer in KL we thought the tantalizing prize of a computer was certainly within his grasp. But 5 minutes into the finals a week after, in front of an audience of anxious parents and journalists, he slipped up horribly on the first word, and was immediately out of the game. Our resident Scrabble and Boggles champ made his way back to his seat holding back tears. Later when asked what he had learnt from that debacle, he attributed his loss to jitters and “over-confidence.”
Then came the family’s failure to make it to the summit of Mt Kinabalu at the end of last year. All gung-ho and raring to go, we were laid low one after the other by altitude sickness in the wee hours of the chilly morning and had to turn back.
Soon after, while sipping hot tea and nursing a bruised ego at the Laban Rata rest house 11,000 ft above sea level, I noticed our boys were in uncommonly good cheer. “Look at it this way Dad,” said Ethan, “we made it this far and it is no mean achievement, you know.” Well, that’s a positive way of looking at failure.
We are not all winners; not many of us will have great exploits to boast. Our children, bless them, may not be Katherines and Edwards. But by God’s grace, we are always more than what we began with.
By David BC Tan
Jan 22, 2003
23 December 2009
Posted by DAVID BC TAN under: Homeschool Profile.
Eileen Lian of Parenting Works posted an email interview with me on her website titled, Homeschooling is Parenting. The website is pretty neat, with lots of advice and tips for raising your children. Parenting Works’ tagline says it all – Where Children Come First.
More importantly, the articles on the website attempt to articulate an Asian point of view which I’m sure will appeal to readers in our part of the world. Parenting may be universal – the teaching of respect and values, nurture of one’s children, the value of hard work, the importance of discipline, undergirded by love, etc – but its practices are surely culturally diverse. Do check out Parenting Works.